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Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as...

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There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for...

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Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

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Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...

Is Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre the most flaccid cockgoblin in...

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Unsubstantiated sources allege Dacre is comfortably the vilest hate-peddling shitweasel in the UK. Feel free to tell us if you disagree with these allegations. But...

Dead burglar to get state funeral

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A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.  Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

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The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.

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