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Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu

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There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu. A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...

University of Life under Ofsted investigation after turning out complete fucking...

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Chief Ofsted inspector Mark Teachers announced today he would be launching a special investigation into the University of Life, based in Thanet. A lower-level investigation...

Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend

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Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...

Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis

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The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...

Jeremy Corbyn pictured laying wreath with international terrorists, arms dealers and...

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Jeremy Corbyn is once again under fire after being photographed at a wreath laying event with a bunch of  terrorists, mass murderers, international arms...

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

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The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...

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