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Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049...

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?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who...

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When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”

Dead burglar to get state funeral

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A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.  Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers for mass shooting victims arrive...

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It's all better in California now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Gilroy following today's mass shooting. "Yeah, we're...

Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35

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Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.  An angry man with an impenetrable accent told us, "It's...

Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US...

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So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...

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