Man in Waiting Room

Waiting times in A&E are ridiculous says bloke with Buzz Lightyear toy stuck up...

Rochdale: A Lancashire man has spoken of his outrage at being forced to stand and wait for attention in Rochdale A&E for more than four hours on Saturday night.Mr Anthony Tonin from Milnrow told...

Mother of three who has finished her Christmas shopping and bought all of the...

A woman was rushed to hospital this week suffering from a rare allergic reaction to being overtly smug after completing all her food and present shopping ready for Christmas and bragging about it on...
Hospital

If you lot weren’t so clumsy we wouldn’t need A&E, says Jeremy Hunt

The Minister for Health, Jeremy Hunt, has stated during an interview with our reporter that the pressure felt by A&E staff up and down the country is in no way related to the systematic...

Tiny Tim declared fit to work by ATOS

Dickensian child, "Tiny" Tim Cratchitt has been declared fit to work by ATOS this week despite being both famously crippled and fictional.His father, Robert Cratchitt, has condemned the decision, insisting his son's age and...
Overweight

Government isn’t spending enough on health, says chain-smoking binge-drinker who doesn’t go to gym

An overweight chain-smoking binge-drinker who never does any exercise has confirmed that this government isn't spending enough money on ensuring that his health care requirements are met.Following the budget announcement on Thursday that this...

Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets

Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious Tweeting.The runty Rottweiler once fronted the Poundland version of...
NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service.Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is expected to announce the move shortly. "A Notional Health Service...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function" as a common factor amongst many footballers who, the study...

UK obesity epidemic to be tackled by driving the Coca-Cola truck through towns and...

Coca Cola have announced that the driver of their self-proclaimed ‘traditional’ Christmas Truck has been instructed to keep moving through the UK towns and cities that it visits to keep overweight and pre-diabetes children...

Morrissey spends days in bed

Tragic news has reached us here at The Rochdale Herald for all lovers of the morbid mopheaded muso and former front man of The Smith's, Morrissey.Today we have learnt that the singer, whose real...

NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism

The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise on the booming health tourism market.“With an estimated five hundred...

Littlest Hobo declared fit for work by ATOS

Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they?Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were getting fond of him. (Possibly because he’d dropped a huge...
Hospital

Elderly woman catches racism after wiping bottom on Daily Mail

A lovely old grandma who contracted racism during a trip to Burnley last week is in a "serious condition" after being admitted to an isolation unit in Rochdale.NHS Rochdale has confirmed that the racism...

Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued

A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly toned and healthy condition.Happily now surrounded by pizza boxes...
Ebola

‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola

In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the blame for its deadly effects onto people.The virus, which was...

Working from home identified as leading cause of sight loss in men

A new study from the Rochdale Institute for Sight has found that working from home is the leading cause of sight loss for men.Although identifying the cause the researchers were less exact about what...

Follow us

44,492FansLike
49FollowersFollow
18,423FollowersFollow
13,610FollowersFollow

Popular Posts