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Thomas Thomas is Sub-Editor for The Rochdale Herald. Thomas is proud to support such causes as "Cornwall for Jam First" and "Drop Scones Not Bombs". His personal motto is "Fuck it, why not?"

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...
Boris Johnson

“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze

The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned. The initiative, the budget...

Matt Hancock adds Straw Clutching to his cv as “transferable skill”

Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson's success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to...

Team GB to announce Stable Door Shutting as new olympic sport

Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned. Following the UK government's announcement...

Foreign holiday season likely to be cancelled says Minister for the Bleedin Obvious

Many British people are unlikely to be able to take summer holidays abroad this year says Matt Hancock in a stunning example of the...

Rishi Sunak to announce 80% wages to be replaced by a free bike

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is set to announce that the job retention scheme, which sees those workers furloughed by their employer receive 80%...

Cliff and Keith “devastated” following death of their brother Little

Cliff Richard and twin brother Keith are said to be "utterly devastated" following the death of their big brother, Little, sources have told The...

UK Government leads world in stable door shutting contest

The UK government has taken the lead in the worldwide contest to shut the stable door long after the horse has not only bolted...

Join us this week for The Rochdale Herald’s guide to the best breakfast wines

As the nation enters another three weeks of lockdown, The Rochdale Herald asks "Which alcohol is best for breakfast?" Coco Pops - RH recommends a...

Football players saving us all by not taking a pay cut

The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount...

UK in shock as Boris Johnson steps down

The people of the United Kingdom took a collective gasp today, Wednesday 1st of April, as Boris Johnson announced he would be stepping down. "This...

Man puts bins out

Reports are emerging that a man in Rochdale has put his bins out. Stephen Dickinson of Fazzakerley Drive has put his green bin out on...

Boris “getting Coronavirus done”. PM tests positive.

The Rochdale Herald can confirm that the Prime Minister of the UK, Boris Johnson, has tested positive for Coronavirus. Having been tested for Coronavirus on...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...

“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers

Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...

DFS sale finally over

After 51 years, the DFS sale has finally come to an end. With the news from Prime Minister Boris Johnson that the UK has effectively...

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