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ThomasThomas

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Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...

Man left alone for the weekend yet to put his trousers on

A man who’s wife has gone away for the weekend is yet to put his trousers on The Rochdale Herald has learned.Thomas Thomas of...

Dog looking forward to “cower under the toilet night” this weekend

A dog has told of his love of the 5th of November festivities, or "cower under the toilet night" as it's known in the...

Dog walkers foil Brexit

A group of dog walkers in West London found a way to foil what has become known locally as "bRexit" after a dog nearly...

Northern woman puts heating on

A woman from the North of England has shocked the country by putting the heating on in October.Denise Dufite, originally from the northern town...

Kennedy files reveal he is definitely dead

The publication of nearly 3,000 previously classified files relating to the assassination of John F Kennedy in 1963 reveals that the former US President...

Man praised for not shitting himself when followed by police car

A Rochdale man was being congratulated today after not completely shitting his pants when a police car followed him round a corner on Saturday...

This week’s Roboscopes with Mystic Rob. What does this week have in store?

Mystic Rob brings you your Roboscopes for the week aheadAries - The hair in the plughole. On friday you will be confronted with a...

Ovaltine is new ecstasy and sitting on sofa with cat is new clubbing

Night clubbing has undergone a radical change in recent years.The club scene has had many different faces. From tea dances, jazz and the dancehall...

Ireland wakes up in South Atlantic after all-night craic.

The island of Ireland had braced itself for the oncoming of storm Ophelia in the best Irish tradition, with a night of craic and...
Trump Airplane

Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears

It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit.POTUS was invited to meet...
Boris Johnson

Keep me out of the news says BoJo

A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...

Corbyn’s cat is a Tory

Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed his long held suspicions that his pet cat is a died in the wool, cast iron Tory.Corbyn...
Trump Bed

Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him

The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...

Unmasked – The Real Jack the Ripper

The question of the identity of the serial killer known as ‘The Whitechapel Murderer’, ‘Leather Apron’ or, most famously Jack the Ripper has been...

How do you solve a problem like Korea?

The world is on the edge of its seat awaiting the next exchange between President of The United Hates of Americaland, Donald J Trump,...

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