As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald has learned that a number of career criminals are equally happy.

Harry “Hatchet” Higgins told The Herald “I’m happy as a pig in shit mate.”

“You’ve got that Cummings geezer doing what he wants when he wants so a few mugs go to the beach. That was one thing. But now the bleedin’ front bench is breaking international law with impunity. Well it’s a green light innit?”

Whilst we’re not likely to be arguing with “Hatchet” in a hurry, we can see his point.

Many people in the UK took Dominic Cummings’ flouting of the rules as a signal that while the letter of the law says one thing, the spirit of the law has another, quite separate identity.

With the government now intent on breaking the law, albeit in a limited and specific way, how many other laws are open to interpretation?

“I’ll only be stealing diamonds from now on” says Fingers Farrington. “Is that specific enough? And if I limit myself to smash and grab robberies only I reckon I’ve got myself covered.”

Fred East of Bristol tells us “I’ll be limiting myself to murdering members of my immediate family only and specifically by strangulation.”

“Thanks to the Conservative party for showing us all that we can break whatever laws we like as long as it’s in a limited and specific way.”

Can’t argue with that.

Thomas Thomas is Sub-Editor for The Rochdale Herald. Thomas is proud to support such causes as "Cornwall for Jam First" and "Drop Scones Not Bombs". His personal motto is "Fuck it, why not?"