POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he’s cured Megadeth today.

In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, “You know what’s amazing? The countdown to extinction is over. People said that it couldn’t be done. That nobody could possibly cure this. But I’ve done it. You know, so far so good. The world needs a hero and they’ve got one. It’s me. This is the endgame for Megadeth. Since the 80’s we’ve been battling it. But I think this has been a rude awakening.”

“You know what Megadeth is? Huge amounts of death. The biggliest death possible. The biggest amount of death since Aids. I have aides. They will testify to this.”

One commentator told us, “He seems to have no idea what he’s talking about. He seems to think Megadeth is a disease. He’s truly lost it.”

Elsewhere there are rumours that the White House has had to remove all stairs due to Trump being unable to master them. Eyewitnesses have told us that he just stands at the bottom like a balding Dalek demanding the military nuke the stairs.