Home Authors Posts by Francis Aston

Francis Aston

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.

Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...

There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a...
Trump with manbun

NATO leaders issue declaration of unity against Donald Trump

NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump. One spokesman said, "It may seem strange...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was...

Anti-Semetism claims are part of Jewish influenced media conspiracy, claims Momentum member

A Rochdale Momentum member has told us that claims of anti-Semetism made by Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mervis are proof that there is...

Tories to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals

The Tory Party has today promised to abolish hospital parking charges by abolishing hospitals. Tory manifesto spokesman, Bill Board told us, "We've done...

Every doorway to get free homeless person, pledge Conservatives

The Tory Party has pledged that every doorway in Britain will get a free homeless person by 2021. A spokesman told us, "The...

Tory Party pledges to attack pot holes now it has defeated the disabled

The Tory Party has declared victory in its war against the disabled and announced it will re-deploy its resources in a war...

Tube passenger that hurled anti-Semitic abuse says, I was reading the Labour Party manifesto

A man arrested for what police have described as a "horrific anti-Semitic attack" on the London Underground on Friday has said he...

Rochdale woman drinks Gin Advent Calendar on Saturday night

A Rochdale woman has woken today and realised that she spent last night drinking all the Gin in her Fever-Tree Ultimate Gin...

Climate crisis totally worth it if it stops Coldplay touring, says Greta Thunberg

Greta Thunberg has announced that complete environmental collapse will be worth it now that Coldplay have announced they will stop touring to...

Next leaders debate to be chaired by Jeremy Kyle and feature Boris Johnson paternity...

The next General Election leaders debate will feature a new format hosted by Jeremy Kyle. There will also be a paternity test...

Prince Andrew to release sex tape

Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his...
Arron Banks

Arron Banks demands police enforcement of EU data privacy laws

Arron Banks has taken a day off from calling for Britain to leave the EU so it can be free from the...

Prince Andrew says, I was at Pizza Express checking out Beatrice’s fit friend

Prince Andrew has today sought to clarify comments he made about attending Pizza Express in Woking 19 years ago. A spokesman for Prince...

Follow us


Popular Posts