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Francis Aston

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.

China celebrates start of the year of the rat with a plague

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China is marking the start of the year of the rat with a global plague outbreak.  As spokesman told us, "We wanted a...

Prince Harry gets job as Prince Harry look-alike

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Prince Harry has a new job as a Prince Harry look-alike in Canada. His new boss told us, "There's a lot of attention...

Prince Andrew to move to Thailand for 6 months

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Prince Andrew has announced plans to spend 6 months of the year living in Thailand. The Prince will then spend the other...

Campaign to crowdfund a copy of Bravo Two Zero and box of tissues for...

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A crowdfunding campaign set up to raise enough money for a copy of Bravo Two Zero and a man size box of...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool...

King Joffrey to perform Iain Duncan Smith knighting ceremony

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Joffrey I Baratheon, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm is...

Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours

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Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip to star in new season of The Walking Dead

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There are rumours circulating today that Prince Philip will get a central role in a new series of, The Walking Dead. The show...

Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...

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A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us,...

Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas

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In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit...
Angry Man Christmas

Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas

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A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry...

Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine

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The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of...

Trump challenges Nancy Pelosi to MMA fight

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In perhaps his most bizarre tweet ever Donald Trump has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a fight in the "Pentagon". On the eve of...

Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism

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Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they...

Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring

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Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring. Thunberg said, "All of my...

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