Home Authors Posts by Francis Aston

Francis Aston

454 POSTS 0 COMMENTS
Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.

Scotland’s oldest man dies aged 35

Tributes have been paid to Gregor McGregor, Scotland's oldest man who died today aged 35.  An angry man with an impenetrable accent told...
Donald Trump

Trump campaign starts selling dog whistles

Donald Trump's 2020 re-election campaign has debuted a new range of MAGA dog whistles at a rally in Florida this past weekend.

Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars.
Theresa may Trump

Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador

The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the...

Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem

Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned.

Special D-Day edition of Daily Mail includes special pull out of it supporting fascism...

The Daily Mail has revealed its very special D-Day supplement today. The supplement will be available this weekend and looks back to...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.

Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake

Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of...

Writers of Brexit admit they’ve no idea how to end it and it’s going...

The writers behind the hit show, Brexit say they've no idea how to end the show and there are fears it could...
Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons to rebrand as “Special Circle of Hell”

Pub chain Wetherspoons is to re-brand as the Special Circle of Hell following an endorsement by EU President Donald Tusk.

Newspaper that regularly features Princess Diana’s ghost denies allegations of fake news

Staff at the Daily Express have been forced to deny that their publication is a tissue of lies and fake news even...
Jeremy Corbyn

Man who claims he will talk to anyone to solve problems refuses to talk...

A man who often says that you should meet your opponents and discuss problems and issues with them to find a solution...

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks".
Theresa May

Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...

Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.

Psychic wins EuroMillions for sixth week running

A Rochdale based psychic has won the Euromillions lottery for the sixth week running. In an interview conducted 7...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version...

Follow us

56,830FansLike
18,423FollowersFollow
22,569FollowersFollow

Popular Posts