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Francis Aston

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.

NHS Test and Trace Centre discovered on Venus

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A Rochdale resident has discovered the existence of an NHS Test and Trace Centre on the surface of Venus. Scientists believe that...

Grouse shoots report sudden increase in children’s birthday party bookings

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The leaders of some of Britain's major grouse shoots have reported that children's birthday party bookings are up 100%. Hubert Chomlomoley-Wearnear told us,...
New Year Eve Party

Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...

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The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your...

Boris Johnson praises BBC for spending £250m on non-existent PPE for the Proms

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Boris Johnson has said that Britain shouldn't be ashamed about the BBC's decision to spend £250m on non-existent PPE for the Last...

Tommy Robinson begins campaign to have himself deported from Spain

Tommy Robinson has told the Spanish Government that he should be thrown out of Spain as he's a foreign criminal unable to...

Britain signs lucrative post Brexit tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein

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Dominic Raab has announced that Britain is set to sign a very lucrative tax avoidance deal with Lichtenstein. A Government spokesman said, "This...

Rochdale Herald exclusive – Prince Andrew tells us about Princess Beatrice’s wedding

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In a Rochdale Herald exclusive Prince Andrew tells us how the secret wedding of his daughter Beatrice went last week. 7am...
Conspiracy Theorists

Conspiracy theorists conflicted as scientists announce mask wearing protects from 5G

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Conspiracy theorists have reported feeling conflicted after scientists revealed that wearing a mask protects wearers from 5G. Lab Tech, Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling announces RAF to be replaced by the Russian Air Force

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Chris Grayling has announced that the Royal Air Force will be disbanded and its responsibilities outsourced to the Russian Air Force. Speaking from...

22 year old discovers new green job is actually vegetable picking

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A 22 year old Rochdale resident has told us that his new 'green' job is actually just picking vegetables for £3.50 an...

Drunk driver that crashed car into tree blames tree for causing accident

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A drunk driver that crashed his car into a tree on Saturday night has told us the tree caused the accident. A police...

Man that spent last month saying all lives matter furious at 3 million Hong...

A Rochdale man that has just spent a month telling anyone within earshot or on the internet that all lives matter has...

Scientists observe Burnley residents using simple tools and communicating in primitive grunts

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In a paper published in the journal Science this week scientists led by, Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College have said they've...

Burnley residents fear diversity means marrying outside of immediate family

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A Burnley man has told us that he fears moves for more diversity will mean that people will be forced to marry...

Trump tells reporters that he’s cured Megadeth

POTATUS, Donald Trump has made a sensational claim that he's cured Megadeth today. In a rambling 4 hour speech Trump said, "You know...

Arsonists shocked building they set on fire is burning

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A group of arsonists have spoken of their shock at discovering that a building they've spent a decade carefully trying to set...

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