Monday, October 22, 2018
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Francis Aston

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.
Donald Trump

Trump says he believes Melania’s explanation that she didn’t only marry him for his...

Donald Trump has said that he believes that Melania Trump married him for his rugged good looks, sublime conversation and attentive tenderness as a...

Russian spies were visiting world famous Dutch ski resorts

A group of alleged Russian spies who were apprehended in Holland have said they were there learning to ski on the world famous Dutch...

Young people urged to move to areas with cheaper housing and spend savings on...

The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in...

Entire Tory Party arrested in clampdown on middle class cocaine users

The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users. PC Drug-Bust...
Prime Minister

Theresa May demands everyone gets behind flat Earth theory

Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat. Mrs May is telling everyone they need...

Government announces Festival of Brexit will be held in derelict car manufacturing plants

The Government has announced a new exciting celebration of Brexit. Speaking exclusively to The Rochdale Herald, Government insider Cliff Edge told us, "The festival will...

Tommy Robinson supporter disappointed by lack of Muslim no-go areas in London

A Tommy Robinson supporter from Rochdale has told of his disappointment at discovering London isn't a Muslim no-go area dominated by Sharia Law. Cliff Edge...

Salisbury poisoning suspect revealed to be elderly arcade owner from Scooby Doo

A man who is suspected of poisoning Sergei Skripal and Yulia Skripal has had his real identity revealed by a group calling itself Mystery...

Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy

There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...

Living in Italy and eating really nice food might cure depression, confirms Institute of...

The institute for the blindingly obvious has today proclaimed that living in Italy and eating nice food may help depression. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult

A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult. Bill Board has spent the last...

Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court

Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault. Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...

Nigel Farage reveals he was thrown out of the SAS for being too good

Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed that he was thrown out of the SAS for being too good. Mr Farage MP (just kidding) was...

1000’s of tea plantation jobs go as Yorkshire Tea announces it’s moving production to...

There are fears that thousands of tea plantation workers in Yorkshire could lose their jobs as makers of Yorkshire Tea, Taylors of Harrogate, announced...

Torch lit procession marks start of UKIP party conference

UKIP's party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of...
Theresa May

Theresa May negotiates paying full price for a DFS sofa

Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip...

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