Monday, August 20, 2018

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 8 Unemployed mother on benefits knocked...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of 2017 continues with this prime example of the art of satire by Quentin D Fortesque. Lord Quentin D Fortesque MDF.DFS.NVQ.GNT. is not only a...
Buzz Aldrin

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 9 Buzz Aldrin says not punching...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas countdown of the most popular articles of the year continues with this beauty from Francis Aston. Originally published on the 3rd of July and retweeted by none other than Nancy Sinatra,...

The Rochdale Herald Christmas Top Ten – Number 10 “The Queen asks Merkel to...

Kicking us off on our Christmas countdown of the top ten most popular Herald articles of the year is Dick Turnip with "The Queen asks Merkel to form a government". Dick had been working as...

Remembrance is about forcing poppies on sportsmen, not remembering, says patriot

As November's dark days close in, the annual kerfuffle over who does or does not wear a poppy has erupted.   As usual this has been overdone. Remembrance now seeps backwards into October. Crowds...

Racists shocked to learn that there are more than two religions

The revelation that there are more religions than just Christianity and Islam has caused mass outbreaks of shock and confusion among racists everywhere, it has been revealed. The existence of other religions such as Buddhism,...

This week’s Roboscopes with Mystic Rob. What does this week have in store?

Mystic Rob brings you your Roboscopes for the week ahead Aries - The hair in the plughole. On friday you will be confronted with a very difficult problem. The problem is so difficult that you...

Mystic Rob explains what the stars have in store for you this week

Our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" guides you through the week ahead. Aries - The Casio watch. You have trouble opening a new bottle of tomato ketchup on Tuesday. After a bit of...

Roboscopes with Mystic Rob – What do the stars have in store for you?

Let our resident astrologer "Mystic Rob" take you on a journey through the stars to see what this week will bring. ARIES - The discarded train ticket. You are in for a blistering weekend. Unfortunately...
Aunty Angela

Aunty Angela’s Agony Corner

Dear Aunty Angela, I think my husband is cheating on me. We've been married for 15 years. He works in advertising and his job requires him to be away from home a lot. I'm a...
horoscopes

HorrorScopes

Aries - The Dead Postman Things are looking up for you this week. You break your neck in a car crash on Wednesday. You will be in traction for months. Your lucky thing is the ceiling. Taurus...

David Davis to demand the EU forms the next UK government

The first thing Brexiter David Davis will demand of the EU when Brexit discussions begin tomorrow morning will be to take over Britain and form the new UK government. This is a wise move given...

Fireproof cladding found for Westminster cover up

Following years of swingeing corner cutting, government officials anticipate further public outrage and blame as fallout from the Grenfell catastrophe. Luckily a magic money tree has been found to pay for the protective cladding to...

Couple thrilled by second baby have no understanding of its intentions yet

A couple thrilled by the safe arrival of their second baby have no idea of its intentions yet. Nic and Cassie Novella already have a three year old daughter called Allopecia. They have been 'managing...

Terrorist response strategy in disarray after meeting room mix up

Today's COBRA meeting had to be abandoned after it was discovered that Cabinet Office Briefing Room A had already been booked by Trevor from HR. The HR meeting could not be moved because, by...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail awarded plum DUP transport contract

World renowned transport provider Southern Rail have been awarded the plum contract of providing locomotion between Belfast and Westminster for DUP politicians. Southern will take care of all transport needs for Arlene Foster and anyone...

Herald’s Handy Handbooks For Ms May: The Gays and their Acronyms

Theresa May says not to worry about DUP views on “LGB….what’s the rest of it?” The Prime Minister met the 1922 Committee of Conservative backbenchers amid controversy over the governments discussions with the Democratic Unionist...

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