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Parker Penn

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Birkenhead bloke,twice awarded bloke of the year by himself,married to Jill,friends with Nicky P,Bev J,others,tries to play guitar,owned by three dogs.

May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson

In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...

Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals

Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A...

Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win. Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...
BMW

Considerate driver sold BMW by mistake

A car dealership Mike's Motors in Bolton said there were "lessons to be learned"after a careful and considerate driver was allowed to drive away...

Burnley opens new “All you won’t eat” vegetarian restaurant

Burnley's first "All you won't eat" buffet style restaurant opened it's doors today. The lavish 10 seater eaterie offers food that most locals would...

UN convene emergency meeting over Ant and Dec crisis

The UN is to convene an extraordinary meeting in Geneva later today to discuss the situation following events which unfolded in the UK recently. The...

UK threaten Russia with voting Nul Points at Eurovision

In the wake of the alleged poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Wiltshire last week, the UK has stepped up pressure on...

Rochdale spies suffer eye strain after being exposed to local man’s tackle

Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
Donald Genius Trump

Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics

President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...
riot police 2

Police urge Burnley residents not to report sightings of fruit and veg in shops

Police in Burnley have been inundated with 999 calls after shops started stocking fresh fruit and veg. Rumours that local shops had been taking secret...

Jeremy Corbyn was a Sugababe – fresh allegations rock Westminster

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was under fresh scrutiny today after it was alleged he was once the fourth member of noughties pop sensations 'Sugababes'. Speaking...

Winter Olympics shock after allegations that many of the events are just an elaborate...

Brenda "Brenda" Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that...

Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The...

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