Friday, June 22, 2018

Woman dismayed by number of volunteers after threatening Facebook cull

A Rochdale woman today described feeling 'shocked and disappointed' by the number of people who volunteered to be removed from her friends list after she threatened a Facebook 'friend cull'. Charlotte Gainsborough, 25, made the...
Rachael Tripp

Woman’s Instagram post about husband’s small penis causes backlash

A wife's Instagram post about loving her husband's "cashew" sized penis has sparked a backlash online about just how dumb her husband is. American entrepreneur's wife Sarah Tripp, who describes herself as "wife to...
Angry Woman

If you’ve got something to say to me say it to my face, says...

Rochdale resident Rhona Rumbelow, 32, reacted angrily to something someone may or may not have said to someone else on Saturday at Swingers' nightclub formerly The Dog Inn. Speaking on Facebook with the help...

Social media giant adds “I am staying home” button for Londoners

Social media users woke to the discovery of a useful new button on one of the most popular platforms today as an "I am staying home" button was added just for today. The button is in...
Drunk

Facebook adds ‘I am drunk button’

Facebook has added an "I am drunk" button to the award winning range of useful buttons on your profile page. The button will immediately quarantine anything you add until midday the following day. The button has...

Facebook in league with mouse manufacturers

Mouse manufacturers are celebrating at the moment at the future increase in sales caused by Facebook’s determined but ultimately futile attempt to make you use the ’Top Stories’ feature of their increasingly rubbish social...
Katie Hopkins

Nation unites in devising final solution to Katie Hopkins

The nation has been shaken by the cowardly attacks in Manchester. This terrible, cowardly attack on innocent concert goers is irrefutably horrible and humour cannot be derived from it.

Facebook to release new emoji for General Election

It's three weeks till the nation goes to the polls for the third time in three years and the media coverage is increasing and the tension is bubbling like Tim Farron's bongwater. Incessant coverage, conflicting...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire and being a twat in the comment sections. “I have suffered...
angry man

Swearing Increasing Exponentially Since Trump’s Inauguration

Use of swear words has increased dramatically since Donald Trump’s inauguration, a study has shown. Since the 20th of January, the average number of swear words heard in everyday conversation has been doubling on a daily...

Rochdale man has farmville farm repossessed by bailiffs

This week, a local middle aged man had his FarmVille repossessed during a raid on his parents property on Friars Crescent.
Car parked over two spaces

Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse

A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if I wasn't a bloke" Mark Ranley, from Doncaster, was criticised on...
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It will contain jalapeño peppers recorded at 15 million on the...

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Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid worker from a wall today. The incident happened when Herald journalist,...

Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week. Filled with anticipation he gleefully  clicked on the link, not knowing that it...

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