Facebook in league with mouse manufacturers

Mouse manufacturers are celebrating at the moment at the future increase in sales caused by Facebook’s determined but ultimately futile attempt to make you use the ’Top Stories’ feature of their increasingly rubbish social...
Katie Hopkins

Nation unites in devising final solution to Katie Hopkins

The nation has been shaken by the cowardly attacks in Manchester. This terrible, cowardly attack on innocent concert goers is irrefutably horrible and humour cannot be derived from it.

Facebook to release new emoji for General Election

It's three weeks till the nation goes to the polls for the third time in three years and the media coverage is increasing and the tension is bubbling like Tim Farron's bongwater.Incessant coverage, conflicting...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation.Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire and being a twat in the comment sections.“I have suffered...
angry man

Swearing Increasing Exponentially Since Trump’s Inauguration

Use of swear words has increased dramatically since Donald Trump’s inauguration, a study has shown.Since the 20th of January, the average number of swear words heard in everyday conversation has been doubling on a daily...

Rochdale man has farmville farm repossessed by bailiffs

This week, a local middle aged man had his FarmVille repossessed during a raid on his parents property on Friars Crescent.
Car parked over two spaces

Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse

A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if I wasn't a bloke"Mark Ranley, from Doncaster, was criticised on...
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched.It will contain jalapeño peppers recorded at 15 million on the...

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Want to see the week's most popular Rochdale Herald articles?Please feel free to join our Newsletter mailing list.It takes a couple of seconds to sign up and even less time to unsubscribe if you...
Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid worker from a wall today.The incident happened when Herald journalist,...

Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week.Filled with anticipation he gleefully  clicked on the link, not knowing that it...

Dalai Lama fury over Louis Smith Buddha is a fat bastard comments

The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a "fat fucker".Two time Olympic Pommel Horse runner up, Strictly Come Dancing winner and sore loser...

Feminist nominated for comedy award they didn’t enter after Facebook tirade

Ipswich feminist Leigh Askew has been included on the shortlist for a new category at the British Comedy Awards.The inaugural Funniest Social Media Post award has been included to reward those lesser known comedians...
Latest Trump Campaign Poster

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media.The posters appear to be a cheaply reworked copy of a previous...

Britain First’s meme maker in coma

As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy (No knuckles) Smith, and yesterday he fell off his right-wing...

Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick as a flash posted a comment and slipped in the...

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