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Quentin D Fortesqueue

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy...

Middle-class mums save planet by driving to Waitrose in massive Range Rovers to buy...

Middle class mums all over the Home Counties are being credited with a reversal to the effects of Global Warming after tens...
Ann Widdecombe

Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath

Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe...
Ann Widdecombe

Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath

Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...
Pest Control

In London you’re never more than 6ft from a Tory Party leadership candidate, study...

The old adage has it that we're never more than six feet away from a Conservative Party leadership candidate?

Dozens injured after Chris Grayling attempts to throw hat into ring for Conservative Leadership

Dozens injured after Chris Grayling attempts to throw hat into the ring for Conservative Leadership Several hundred innocent bystanders...

‘Everybody in Scunthorpe will lose their jobs’ was on the other side of bus,...

Boris Johnson has taken to social media today to clear up any misunderstanding that the 66% of people who live in Scunthorpe...

Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly...
Wetherspoons

Brexit Party Manifesto a Wetherspoon’s menu with curry crossed out with crayon

The Brexit Party has finally unveiled their much anticipated election manifesto ahead of the EU elections.  To much fanfare...

H revealed to be H in shocking Line of Duty twist

In a shocking plot twist the mysterious crime boss 'H' has been revealed to be H in the finale of Line of...

Gavin Williamson to join Facebook as head of privacy

Facebook has hired former Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson as head of its global privacy and secret keeping team. The...

No arrests made as gang of white people chase group of black men through...

Reports are coming in of a civil disturbance in London which has seen a mob of almost 40,000 white people chase a...
Man Reading Menu

Man pretending to understand the wine list

A man is trying his very hardest to look like he understands the wine list in a restaurant. Steve...

Jacob Rees-Mogg snapped drinking mead on the night bus

Haunted hatstand Jacob Rees-Mogg has been forced to issue an apology today after he was snapped drinking mead on the night bus...

Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved...
Meghan and Harry

Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved...

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