Home Authors Posts by Quentin D Fortesqueue

Quentin D Fortesqueue

984 POSTS 0 COMMENTS
Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.
Donald Trump

Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings

Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the...

Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because...

Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch

Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic...

Despair after terrible person makes valid point

A man has been left bereft of all hope for the future after discovering that the worst person he knows might have...
Houses of Parliament

Lib Dems table bill to give each Leave voter bendy banana and note saying...

MPs are meeting this afternoon to discuss vital legislation that could break the Brexit deadlock and potentially save the Government. A bill tabled...

Loud booing interrupted by Boris Johnson speech

Millions of viewers who tuned into a BBC broadcast of tens of thousands of people booing and hissing at Downing Street today...

Denmark offers to buy America from Russia

Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States...
Houses of Parliament

Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue

The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely...
Polar Bear

Aaron Banks eaten by polar bear forced to migrate to Cheshire by global warming

Reports are coming in that a man ironically mauled to death by a polar bear in Northwich town centre was prominent leave...
UKIP

Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains

Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains' poor performance in the...

50 migrants in canoes rescued off Kent coast forced to return to UK

A search and rescue operation has recovered 50 migrants off the Kent coast, the Home Office has said. As spokesman said the Border...
Happy Family

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be...
Houses of Parliament

People who squeeze teabag to be stripped of citizenship and deported

The whole of the UK has united behind the Home Secretary's decision to deport anybody who squeezes the teabag before removing it...
White House

Reality TV to blame for increase in number of f*cknuggets being elected president, say...

Reality TV is to blame for the number of imbeciles and ding-a-lings who are being elected president of the United States, video...

Short range nuclear missiles made available to American public in bid to reduce gun...

Following a series of atrocities in the United States over the weekend in which more than twenty five members of the public...
Donald Trump

Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...

In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people...

Follow us

56,830FansLike
18,423FollowersFollow
23,131FollowersFollow

Popular Posts