Monday, August 20, 2018

Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts

Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald. Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been saying that Donald Trump is like Hitler. His attempts to...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Speaking at a press conference late last...

Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants

US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of children forcefully separated from their parents at the US-Mexico border. According to White...

Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom. A press officer for Kim said, "We're not sure where Melania is. According...

Donald Trump could pardon himself of crime he definitely didn’t commit

Donald Trump could pardon himself of a crime he repeatedly says he hasn't committed. That's according to his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. Giuliani said, "It may seem strange to many people that POTATUS may choose to...

North Korea fury after Trump sends dick pic following Kim Kardashian meeting

North Korean media has reacted angrily after Donald Trump allegedly sent Kim Jong Un a photo of his genitalia. Spokesman for North Korea, Ban-Ki-Han-Ki said, "It was a shame because it had been a good...

Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island

A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking military official from North Korea is visiting the US in...
Wayne La Pierre

Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...

The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President made a series of controversial comments about knife crime in...

Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of a meeting between a young Donald Trump and the drill...
Donald Trump

All options on table including surprise missile attack on Tuesday, Trump tells Syria on...

Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise missile attack on Tuesday next week. The surprise attack comes in...

The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines

United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines. The bill will take effect over the summer. This will...

Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...

Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. It is understood that the US President stumbled...
White House

Vladimir Putin Secures Another Term At The White House

Russian President, Vladimir Putin, won a landslide victory in last night's election which securing his place as leader of the USA. As predicted, Putin secured his place in history with a massive majority. After all...

Trump sues porn star for breaching confidentiality agreement about affair he claims not to...

Lawyers for the actual President of the United States of America are seeking $20 million in damages from a porn star who he says broke a confidentiality agreement about an affair he claims not...
Putin Tillerson

Putin sacks head of US State Department Rex Tillerson

WASHINGTON - The leader of the United States, President Vladimir Putin, announced Tuesday morning that he had fired his Secretary State Rex Tillerson and installed former chicken nugget salesman and former CIA director Mike...
Rex Tillerson

Moron who called moron a moron fired by moron

In a completely expected turn of events, a moron has fired the moron who called him a moron and replaced him with, presumably, another moron. The former Oil executive who was the entire US State...

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