Monday, October 22, 2018

Trump abandons plans to build wall, resolves to plant Leylandii hedge on Mexican border

Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and Mexico. Instead, he intends to spend a couple of grand...
AR-15

Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...

The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of thousands of calories a day is as American as a...

Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him

Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held a march in his honour today. Speaking to the press Trump...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started to help the child hostages at the US border. The...
Donald Trump

White House admits Trump thought Korean War was fought in Star Trek

The White House has apparently confirmed that POTATUS, Donald Trump, thought the Korean War was a war fought in the 1970's in Star Trek. The admission comes several weeks after Mr Trump seemed to suggest...

Melania Trump faces criticism for wearing “Exterminate” t-shirt to Holocaust Memorial

Melania Trump is faces yet more criticism today after wearing a Dalek’s t-shirt during a visit to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin.

Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts

Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald. Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been saying that Donald Trump is like Hitler. His attempts to...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Speaking at a press conference late last...

Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants

US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of children forcefully separated from their parents at the US-Mexico border. According to White...

Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom. A press officer for Kim said, "We're not sure where Melania is. According...

Donald Trump could pardon himself of crime he definitely didn’t commit

Donald Trump could pardon himself of a crime he repeatedly says he hasn't committed. That's according to his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. Giuliani said, "It may seem strange to many people that POTATUS may choose to...

North Korea fury after Trump sends dick pic following Kim Kardashian meeting

North Korean media has reacted angrily after Donald Trump allegedly sent Kim Jong Un a photo of his genitalia. Spokesman for North Korea, Ban-Ki-Han-Ki said, "It was a shame because it had been a good...

Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island

A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking military official from North Korea is visiting the US in...
Wayne La Pierre

Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...

The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President made a series of controversial comments about knife crime in...

Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of a meeting between a young Donald Trump and the drill...
Donald Trump

All options on table including surprise missile attack on Tuesday, Trump tells Syria on...

Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise missile attack on Tuesday next week. The surprise attack comes in...

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