America

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom. A press officer for Kim said, "We're not sure where Melania is. According...

It has been forecast that every citizen of the United States of America will own at least one semi-automatic weapon by the end of 2017. Traditionally, gun owners in 'Murica have largely been rednecks, hicks...

New York - There has been more fire and fury today as a blaze at the top of Trump Tower in New York left tone person dead. Questions have already been raised by commentators as...

Pepe the frog has admitted today that he was behind the success of Donald Trump in the recent US presidential elections. "Presidential? Fix-a-dential more like! Am I right? How old are those people?" laughed Pepe,...

Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American. Not an inventor. Not a patriot. Beeswax UNAMERICAN. Filthy trick. Media...

The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities. Following a series of articles, many...

Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat as can be imagined. Debate continues to rage in the US...

The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to Americans. "These so called national security services you have, they are...

An online petition requesting that Donald Trump be removed from office has got 6 billion signatures from around the world within 24 hours of its being set up. The petition on change.org was started by...

President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a statement posted on the official White House website Trump explained...

The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff that King Arthur needs to get past revealed himself last...

President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs and ice queens, though Kellyanne Conway has secured an exemption. The...

Donald Trump has asked his propaganda secretary, Sean Spicer, to assure The White House press corps that President Trump's penis is "the largest penis in the history of penises. Period!"

Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning. The news comes after the last adult in the White House, General Jim Mattis,...

Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.

As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred. With the talks heating up, appearing ever-more likely to end in bloodshed,...