Pound Hits New High of “20 Bundles of Corn” as USA Adopts Barter System
The US Dollar has been abandoned and the Barter System adopted following Donald Trump's victory in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Fort Knox are...
Why does this keep happening, ask imbeciles who keep selling guns to people who...
Fuckwits in America who keep blocking gun control reform have been forced to once again ask the question "why do mass shootings happen over...
Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party
Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.
Kavanaugh, whose nomination...
Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.
Pothead Calls Kettle Black; Clinton Challenges Trump To TV Drug Blowout
Trump Challenges Clinton To Drug Test Prior To Next Debate - Clinton Lashes Back With Drug Taking Contest Challenge
US Election 2016; Following Donald Trump's...
US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.
This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Sean Spicer suspended from Labour Party over Hitler comments
Tom Watson has announced this morning that the White House press secretary, Sean Spicer is to be investigated by the Labour Party for anti-Semitic...
NRA claims that fewer elephants would be shot by hunters if more of them...
The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they...
Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US
In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...
White House Christmas card to feature Donald Trump high-fiving the Ku Klux Klan’s Imperial...
The White House's official 2017 Christmas card will feature President Donald Trump high-fiving the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, a spokesperson confirmed...
Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas
Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas.
With...
Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom.
A press officer...
I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President
A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...
Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms
Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes,...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
