Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The normally publicity shy inventor and self publicist has said that,...
Sarah Huckabee

Trump to sue publisher of Fire and Fury when Sarah Huckabee finishes reading it...

Washington DC - Donald Trump has angrily announced that he intends to sue the publisher of The White House tell all book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, just as soon Sarah...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...

US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass character Humpty Dumpty to the newly created post of Secretary of...

Condoms are a commie liberal plot to give everybody AIDS according to Trump VP

Revelations of comments  made by Donald Trump's running mate, the 'Caucasian Executioner of Indiana', Mike Pence show that Governor Pence might not know how to put on a condom. The conversation, quoted in The Independent...
Christmas

Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas

Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas. With it being February, it's not remotely close to that time...

CIA to dumb down intelligence briefings

The U.S. Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Dan Coats, announced on Sunday that they will be cutting down the president’s daily intelligence briefings to a maximum of 140 characters using a private Twitter account. According to White...

Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...

Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him. POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he had turned down Harry's proposal as he didn't have the...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American. Not an inventor. Not a patriot. Beeswax UNAMERICAN. Filthy trick. Media...
Trump

People no longer surprised when Trump acts like a dick again

The repeated outbursts of hatemongering, sabre-rattling or just plain stupidity, emanating from the lips, press statements or usually the tweets, of Donald Trump, have stopped surprising people, it has been confirmed. In a recent survey,...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush Jnr got elected" beamed Chuck Cartridge, head of the NRA. In...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th January 2017 Trump’s circumference was approximately 50 inches. Last night...

Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline

The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Trump

Trump is said to be fuhrerious over comparisons with Adolf Hitler

Today the Trump Administration has struck back over comments alluding to Donald Trump resembling something of a 21st Century Hitler. There has been outrage in the oval office this morning following such unfounded comments...

Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%

Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up to a staggering total of 357 years. Formerly known as the...

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for insinuating she had worked as a call girl in the...

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