Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

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A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...

Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

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Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...

National Association of C#nts sue Florida for asking murderers to wait a bit to...

0
The National Association of Massive Cunts filed a lawsuit in federal court Friday in an attempt to block a Florida law to make murderous...
Mar a Lago

Donald Trump moves Mar a Lago to Tampa Bay for insurance purposes

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Donald Trump has applied to have the address of his Mar-a-Lago changed from Palm Beach to Tampa Bay, ahead of the arrival of Hurricane...
Redneck

Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man

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A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...

Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point

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Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...

Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico

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Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo. Just kidding. Trump...

Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline

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The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.
White House

Vladimir Putin Secures Another Term At The White House

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Russian President, Vladimir Putin, won a landslide victory in last night's election which securing his place as leader of the USA. As predicted, Putin secured...

Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward

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It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
White House

Playboy bunnies to be re-homed at The Whitehouse

18
After the sad passing of millionaire feminist Hugh (the Hef) Hefner the dilemma of what to do with the dozens of now ownerless and...
Prisoner

Rochdale man released from US prison after Trump repeals ‘Merry Christmas’ ban

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A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for. Percy...
AR-15

Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...

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The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of...
Donald Trump

Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead

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Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas. The gesture...

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