Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

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Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist. Initially, US citizens were horrified...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

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Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

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"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Nuttall

Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia

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Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia. In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...

Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...
Donald Trump

Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country

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Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump furious to learn Farage isn’t ‘King of England’

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President-elect, Donald Trump, learned that Nigel Farage is not the King of England and that the monarch is in fact a female, on an...
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award. Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...

Leaked memo from US Embassy in London written in Crayon

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There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

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The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said...

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

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The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

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The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...

Trump All Mexicans To Do Pinata National Service

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US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties. The "Piñata National...
Sergei Lavrov

Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director

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Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the...

Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course

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President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...

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