Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over working conditions. It is understood that several employees quit this morning...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about what his middle name is. The leader of the free world...

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement comes just hours after another lunatic with an assault rifle...

‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...

Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.  The petition insists that Trump's racism, sexism and general vulgarity would cause embarrassment...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil hat in the White House and is equipping all his...

I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump

Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.
Trump Air Force one

Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs

A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs. The man, now in his seventies, is said to have been gutted...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support for Pinochet-a-like Donald Trump as he breaks orbit from the...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press conference with reporters after landing in Berlin and delivered his...
Trump Family KKK Photograph

Trump Family KKK Photo Scandal

There was outrage across America as a family photo of the Trump family emerged with both Donald Trump's father and mother dressed from head to toe in KKK robes. The Ku Klux Klan were quick...

Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail

Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker who had sex with horrible old men for money. What a...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.

Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…

Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their heads into microwave ovens in an attempt to take selfies. Conway...

NEWSFLASH – Trump withdraws from Election

On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running. Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis on the Oldham Road in Rochdale, has announced that he...
The Mooch

Scaramucci denies snorting cocaine in front of White House press corp

Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his nostril. Mr Scaramucci was addressing the assembled White House press corp...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for Christmas. The book, titled "My Struggle" will focus largely on his...

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