Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury extremists that can benefit from such an honour.Downing Street...

Joy as Palace confirms  Pippa Middleton’s bottom WILL feature at next year’s Royal wedding

Buckingham Palace has today confirmed that Pippa Middleton's buttocks will be brought out of storage for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle next year.Designated a national treasure following the wedding of her...
Prince Harry

Prince Harry reveals engagement to woman he is barely related to

Prince Harry has broken with Royal protocol by proposing to an American actress he is barely related to.Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed by the news of the engagement saying in a press...
James Hewitt

James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle

James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'."Many people don't know this, but I knew Harry's mother for many years and I...
Queen

Queen shocked to discover she’s invested in Los Pollos Hermanos

The Queen is said to be shocked that her accountants have invested heavily in Los Pollos Hermanos. The food chain, seen in the TV show, Breaking Bad is a front for a money laundering...

William and Catherine’s third child expected to hatch in April

Kensington palace said the breeding pair were “delighted” to be adding to their lounge and already have two hatchlings: Prince George, four, and his younger sister Charlotte, two.

Helen Mirren to impersonate the Queen during Trump state visit

The Rochdale Herald understands that award winning actress Helen Mirren will impersonate the Queen should President Trump’s proposed state visit to the UK go ahead.A senior Buckingham Palace source revealed the decision came after...
Corgi

Queen deciding which Corgi to shoot first if Corbyn becomes Prime Minister

Buckingham Palace sources have reported that the Queen is currently trying to decide which of her Corgis to shoot first should Jeremy Corbyn be elected Prime Minister.One of our sources, speaking on condition of...
Kate Middleton

Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy

A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed.Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale, was overheard telling a crowd of people in the pub...
Kate Middleton

Royal Baby ‘pretty unlikely to be ginger’ say Palace sources

Buckingham Palace sources have told The Rochdale Herald that it is "pretty bloody unlikely" that the next Royal baby will be a ginger.They declined to go into any further detail other than to...

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.

Nicholas Witchell tasered during naked Prince Philip coup attempt

The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace.According to eyewitnesses, the journalist appeared outside the Palace gates at around 8am this morning,...
Royal Family

Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Interflora agent admits to killing Lady Di in deathbed confession shock

Alleged deathbed confession implicates both floral delivery service and royal family in assassination plotIn a shock announcement that has been doing the rounds on shonky, discredited fake news outlets for some time now, retired...

Britain gears up for Dianageddon

A lack of Britain shooting itself in the foot and Donald Trump not doing something stupid for a few days has left Britain to contemplate its plans Dianageddon.The Daily Express has announced it intends...
Royal Family

United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four

It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today.We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones who told us: "This is actually far more common than people...

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