Monday, October 22, 2018
Kate and William

Royal baby has already earned more than you

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time. The new prince, who was born at St Mary's Hospital, London, at 11:01, weighing 8lb...

Royal baby to be named Prince Kevin. Probably.

Following the news that Duchess of Cambridge has given birth to a bouncing baby boy, speculation is rife regarding the name the House of Windsor will announce. With an official announcement yet to be forthcoming,...

“I didn’t want to go to your poxy wedding anyway” says Theresa May

Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn't want to go to the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle anyway. The announcement came...
Queen and Duke

Queen undergoes Duke of Edinburgh replacement operation

The Queen has undergone a successful operation to have the Duke of Edinburgh replaced. Doctors at King Charle's hospital in London said the operation had been completely successful. "We removed the old duke during a four...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement the Queen said, "Many people think that the USA is...

Harry and Meghan choose poisonous flowers for wedding as symbol of their love

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they've chosen to symbolise their love with poisonous flowers. Digitalis or, Foxgloves as they're more commonly known will be part of Harry and Meghan's spring themed wedding. Dr Frederick...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the royal wedding. This weather has come as a bit of...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip denies sending Harry and Megan packet of mystery white powder

The Duke of Edinburgh has strenuously denied sending Prince Harry and Megan Marckle a toxic package. The parcel was left on Harry and Megan's doorstep on Wednesday night. A Palace aide said, "Harry and Megan...

Bra fitters feel a right pair of tits after revealing the size of the...

Bra fitters Rigby & Peller have lost their Royal warrant after Buckingham Palace cancelled its contract with the company after they revealed intimate details of the Queen's bra size. The makers of the Royal over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder...
Prince Harry begging

Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding

Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police sting operation. The Prince was amongst dozens of beggars on the...
Meghan and Harry

Aggressive beggars to marry in Windsor Castle in May

People across the country have been delighted by the recent news that one of the UK's sponsored panhandlers has decided to let a wealthy, successful actress share his state benefits by marrying her at...
Meghan and Harry

Meghan Markle nominated for Oscar for her portrayal of woman in love with Prince...

As the New Year approaches rumours are already circulating about next year's Oscar nominations. An early nomination thrown into the frame is Meghan Markle.  The American actress has been nominated by the Academy for her...

Prince asks for money for wedding instead of Christmas presents

Royal offspring are like the grown up children who return to the nest once they have completed their time in higher education. You think it's finally over but unlike the Geoff Hurst 1966 fourth...
MEGHAN AND PRINCE HARRY

Great start for Meghan Markle as she manages to walk around slowly and wave

The future of the British monarchy, American Meghan Markle, has successfully negotiated her first official public engagement as she absolutely nailed walking slowly and waving at people. Crowds of people gathered out of morbid curiosity...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for the state visit was extended too early the Prime Minister...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury extremists that can benefit from such an honour. Downing Street...

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