Prince Andrew has denied allegations that he met Emily Maitlis or even appeared on the TV show, Newsnight. Despite over 1 million people having seen him do so.

Recently appointed PR spokesman for the Prince, Chris Grayling told us, “The allegations are completely untrue. Prince Andrew could not have met Emily Maitlis. On the date in question he was at Salisbury Cathedral admiring its spire. It’s 123m tall don’t you know? Anyway, Prince Andrew was there all day and then he got stuck in a lot of traffic when trying to get back to London. This is because there were so many Russian tourists attempting to get back to their hotels at Gatwick airport. Prince Andrew then decided to stop off a McDonald’s in Henley. We were then further delayed because Prince Andrew refused to pay for the Royal with cheese and drink he had been served.”

One Rochdale viewer, who saw the interview told us, “I thought it was some sort of dementia awareness advert. I thought it was very brave of him to list all those people he could no longer remember meeting. Then he remembered every detail about that trip to Pizza Express in Woking 18 years ago.”

Rochdale resident Bill Board told us, “He couldn’t recollect attending an orgy on a Caribbean island but had no problem remembering a trip to Pizza Express 18 years ago. If that were me it definitely wouldn’t be the Sloppy Giuseppe that I I remembered most fondly.”

Another viewer told us, “How far do you think he’ll go? I might go and put some money on him coming out as gay.”

Elsewhere, Prince Harry is alleged to have told the Queen that attending a Christmas celebration with an alleged sex offender would be very unbecoming for a member of the Royal Family so he and Meghan will be staying with Meghan’s mum this year.

 

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.