Burnley residents “Delighted” by the introduction of BBC2 in the area

BBC2 finally came to Burnley yesterday.The TV channel, which first aired to the british public in 1967, finally made its first transmition to the North England town yesterday.We asked the BBC to...
NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service.Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is expected to announce the move shortly. "A Notional Health Service...

I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse

The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here'.The number of actual celebrities appearing in the popular reality...
Morrissey

Charles Manson was just a bit excitable claims Morrissey

Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by reportedly and fictionally claiming notorious cult leader Charles Manson was...
Snowman

Aled Jones touched my carrot, claims Snowman

Aled Jones, 46-year-old presenter of Songs Of Praise and former choirboy, was suspended by The BBC today following allegations of 'inappropriate conduct'. The allegations are reported to have been made by former acting star, The...
Tapas

Tapas actually Spanish for ‘not enough food’ confirms Spain

Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'. The revelation comes after local office drone Steve Dickinson, 42 and a half, lodged a formal complaint...
Trump Tick

Twitter removes blue tick from Donald Trump’s account

In the latest shake-up to twitter's format, the website have taken to removing the ticks from people for various reasons. Hatemongers have been particularly under fire, including Tommy Robinson of the EDL, and now...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it.Maurice Tips, Professor of Hot Beverages at the University's world famous Brew...
Sun Journalist

BBC releases SHOCKING photo of Sun journalist doing JOURNALISM

The BBC have released what are being termed as, "shocking" photographs of Sun newspaper journalists committing acts of journalism and accurate reporting.Stan Still said, "You can clearly see them fact checking and ensuring their...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.Army chiefs were dismayed to discover the source of the problem...

Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.

A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely from the frothings of the readership on the publication's forum...

Ryanair cancels all flights to Russia

Ryanair have announced today that it is cancelling all flights to Russia in 2018.The move that will be affecting almost no Irish passengers between June and July next year.The low-cost airline described the...

Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...

A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at 'Masterchef: The Professionals'.Gary Taylor, 36, intends to spend most of...

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that they will be supporting Brazil in the football.Artemisa Yousir, originally...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils.St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a parents revolt after the largely transgender pupils were taught that...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer.Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function" as a common factor amongst many footballers who, the study...

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