Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards’ Way called, Nigels’ Way.

Producer Bill Board told us, “Nigel plays Nigel, a man who has experienced 2 redundancies in 6 months. He leaves London and settles in a seaside town on the south coast of England.”

“Nigel is struggling at the beginning. His kids increasingly hold him in contempt. His wife initially hates her new life and wants to move back to London. This leads to the breakdown of their marriage. We see Nigel hit his lowest ebb with him attempting to give a speech to some empty chairs in his living room.”

“But then things change. Nigel meets some alcoholic xenophobes that happen to be members of the local yachting club. Nigel becomes involved and gradually regains his sense of purpose. He begins campaigning for the ships at the local Navy base to be allowed to sink small boats carrying refugees that he encounters whilst out on his yacht.”

“When this fails he forms a band of brothers with other members of the yachting club. Nigel leads them into the English Channel to do battle with the refugee boats. But they quickly learn they don’t have enough skill. But this isn’t about skill at harassing refugees. It’s about a man finding purpose and camaraderie in his life again through xenophobia.”

Howards’ End originally aired between 1985 and 1990. It told the story of a bunch of people that were members of a Yachting Club near Southampton. It was crap.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.