Jeremy C*nt

Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong

MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him.The angry parliamentary member released a furious statement earlier today in an attempt to...

 MP who understands difference between dinner and tea appointed Secretary for the North

Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide.For many in the current government, the only good thing coming from up North is the HS2...

CABINET RESHUFFLE – Boris Johnson becomes Health Secretary

Theresa May's eagerly anticipated cabinet reshuffle has begun.In what some would describe as "a bit of a surprise", the former Mayor of London and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson will replace Jeremy Hunt as Health...
Border Collie Sunglasses

Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister

Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the Prime Minister Theresa May outside St Andrew's Church in Sonning,in...

Theresa May makes audacious bid for Jorge Mendes to replace David Davis.

With the transfer window now open, Theresa May is expected to make David Davis available for transfer whilst putting in a bid for Jorge Mendes to fill the position of Brexit secretary.In an...
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on the 29th of December."It would have been a cracking New...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be blue again."Now that passports are going to be blue again...
Bucket of Coal

Jeremy Corbyn’s children still enjoying playing with their new coal

Jeremy Corbyn’s children reportedly had a brilliant Christmas and are still enjoying playing with the new coal their Dad bought them.
David Davis U-turn

David Davis fails to negotiate corner on way to Brexit talks

Brexit supremo David Davis has suffered a minor road accident when he tried, and failed, to negotiate a corner.Healthcare professionals were on the scene immediately to ensure that Davis's hard exit was achieved.  The...

Happy Christmas to our Sovereign Parliament and readers

On behalf of the Daily Mail, we would like to wish all our readers a very Happy Christmas. Or if they don't celebrate Christmas, season's greetings, delivered without chagrin.For it is the season to...
Houses of Parliament

Sovereignty of Parliament is a bit over-rated, say Brexiters

Pro-Brexit MP's have been rushing to congratulate Parliament on it's demonstration of democracy and parliamentary sovereignty today.A Government bill for Brexit was narrowly defeated following MP's debating it and voting on it over several...
Theresa May

Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means

Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her empty promises of giving Parliament the chance to take a...
David Davis

May’s EU deal not binding, says idiot responsible for implementing result of non-binding EU...

The idiot whose job it is to make Brexit happen says that May's latest deal is non-binding. The latest deal, cobbled together from fudge and flannel, is not expected to hold water.The infamous EU...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished.Gove, who famously involved himself in the key Brexit team associated with pie-in-sky claims...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their effort to re-run the EU referendum and win.Cliff Edge told...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done the financial analysis that is due to be handed in...

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