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Johnny Wapping

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Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?
Angry Man

Oxfam scandal proves we have moral high-ground say selfish, tight bastards

Dreadful arseholes everywhere have applauded Oxfam staff for providing them with their latest bout of self-justification.Graham Ruddington, 47, who has both used and supplied...

Border Control detain drug using hate preacher

Praise for Security Services for successful policing of borderA known hate preacher, in South Africa to sow racial tension, has been successfully detained by...

Sources say DFS might be having a sale IMMINENTLY

If you want a new sofa, pay attention, because this could save you literally some pounds.In an exclusive scoop, The Rochdale Herald can reveal...

Trump demands resignation of Dow Jones

White House sources reveal alleged serial sex offender, proven serial failed businessman and currently failing POTUS Donald J Trump has called for the head...
Scientist

Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...

Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...

Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un

President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...

Herald life hacks: Get rich quick with… an inheritance

Experts say this is the best way to get ahead in lifeIt's January, which means you likely have nothing but mince pie dust in...

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad aboutNews broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...

We tried to write 5 unfunny things about the Buzzfeed job cuts – What...

The state of the world is our fault 1. People like free stuff, or more precisely, things they perceive to be free....

Man has bought a really big telly and wants to tell you about it

A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today.It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and...
Rees Mogg Farage

Being a Menace when you’re called Dennis now about as plausible as being a...

The Beano have announced they are going to change one of their longest running characters names.Despite its wonderful rhyme, bosses at the...
unhappy man

I just want things to be the colour they were before, admits Brexiteer

Icon, n. A person or thing regarded as a representative symbol"'Back and Blue - Brits will get their iconic dark blue passports back after...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson makes full recovery from racism after being diagnosed with Luton intolerance

Many people are unaware that their bodies won't tolerate Luton. But being Luton sensitive shouldn't stop you from living a healthy, happy life. Whilst...
Dinner Party

Cryptocurrencies overtake buy to let portfolios as reason not to have “that twat” over...

Our survey of Rochdale couples reveals cryptocurrencies are now the top reason for removal from dinner party guest lists.In our extensive survey, which we...

Nurses offered choice between 10% bonus or chance to kick Jeremy Hunt in the...

Three cheers to our beloved leader Mrs May for a delightful dilemma this Christmas.We here at The Rochdale Herald recognise we are often so...

Kensington and Chelsea Council crowned Royal Rassclart of the Year

In a much needed triumph for the under pressure Conservative party, its leadership of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea has received recognition...

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