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Johnny Wapping

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Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?

Joe Swanson elected leader of the Liberal Democrats

The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour...

Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower

IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from...
Donald Trump

Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats

Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The...

Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police

Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State...
Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo...
Jesus Christ

Jesus rejects will of the people

Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented...

Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody

Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost...
Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the...
Laptop

Not all men, say men

Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn't something they would do Following a recent incident where a...
theresa nay laughing

I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, but I destroy fields...

Reinvigorated Prime Minister takes back control; promises strong Tory programme to boost food banking sector "Listen up you detestable worms, you aren't going to get...

Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving

May means May Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving.  The train, which is rapidly...

Man kills woman

A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article...

Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour

Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is...

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