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Johnny Wapping

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Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?
Meghan and Harry

Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors

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As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country...

Iain Duncan Smith ‘devastated’ he may have to wait six weeks for knighthood

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Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long...
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

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Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum...
Boris Johnson

Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge

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Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to...
High Court

Stop proroguing, tidy your room, and wash that sock, rule UK’s few remaining grown...

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After spending several weeks in his room, claiming to be "revising" legislation, the PM has finally been told to put his Johnson...

Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child

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The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to...

Trump asks to buy Greenland after hearing it is actually white

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President Trump has indicated his strong interest in buying Greenland from the Danish.  The move has shocked US analysts as it comes...

Joe Swanson elected leader of the Liberal Democrats

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The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour...

Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower

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IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from...
Donald Trump

Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats

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Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which...

Five Guys make creamy mess all over Nigel Farage

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A fresian of excitement has gripped Newcastle over the last few days, with the news that Nigel Farage would be visiting. The...

Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police

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Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State...
Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

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LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo...
Jesus Christ

Jesus rejects will of the people

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Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented...

Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody

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Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost...
Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

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Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your...

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