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Johnny Wapping

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?

E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire

E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...

Country that burns effigies of a Catholic annually upset by statue damage

A country that in the year of our Lord 2020 still thinks burning Catholics is a family friendly November evening out, is upset by...

Statue of Bristol slave trading Tory MP ‘tripped and fell’ insist police

In Bristol, England, police attended a protest against police brutality, during which a more than 100 year old man who posed no threat to...

Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...

Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England.  The...

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan leads star studded sing along to F**k Tha Police

Piers Morgan shared a video on Tuesday night showing him and other self-quarantined celebrities singing NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" "Hi guys.  Day who knows what...

Travelling 250 miles to avoid taking care of child unsurprisingly fine with Boris Johnson

The role of senior Downing Street Adviser Dominic Cummings was called into question after news emerged that he had seen fit to visit the...

Government pressed on exit strategy for NHS clapping

Labour leader Keir Starmer has urged the Government to publish its exit strategy this week, as he warns that the "silent pressures on families...

Well I’ve never caught anything off my kids before, Facebook mum lies

Before 2020, Rochdale mum Di Coughlan had rarely posted anything other than pictures of her adorable children and grimacing husband.  That all changed a...

Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly

Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...

Boris catches coronavirus despite consistently washing hands of all responsibility

Finally, after what feels like years of writing about this car crash of a government you NHS applauding, social distance ignoring flag shaggers voted...

Coronavirus causes charmer to consider condoms

Since moving to London, St Cuthbert's alumnus Ben Green has prided himself on, in his own words, "spreading his chutney round Putney".  Claiming to...

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...
Meghan and Harry

Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors

As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself...

Iain Duncan Smith ‘devastated’ he may have to wait six weeks for knighthood

Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long as six...
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...

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