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Johnny Wapping

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Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?
Jesus Christ

Jesus rejects will of the people

Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented...

Dreadlocked protestor’s skin’s sensitivity to climate change successfully protects her from death in custody

Extinction Rebellion activist deliberately intended to get herself arrested, safely With parts of the nation's capital experiencing air almost...
Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the...
Laptop

Not all men, say men

Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn't something they would do Following a recent incident where a...
theresa nay laughing

I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, but I destroy fields...

Reinvigorated Prime Minister takes back control; promises strong Tory programme to boost food banking sector "Listen up you detestable worms, you aren't going to get...

Passengers of runaway train have pointless argument over who should pretend they’re driving

May means May Passengers on the 11:12 Eurostar return to Britain have had a pointless argument over who is driving.  The train, which is rapidly...

Man kills woman

A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article...

Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour

Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...

MPs FORCED to play football in PARLIAMENT after ARROGANT ASTROTURF OPERATOR respects existing bookings

A talented group of female footballing MPs have no choice except to train for football games in the House of Commons Starting a new football...
Rees Mogg

Man with six kids reckons he knows more about withdrawal method than some woman

The latest Etonian voice of the people, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is convinced that his Catholicism gives him the the edge on some woman Jacob Rees-Mogg, who...

Brexit Secretary resignation is ‘ferry nuff’ and we’ll get ‘Dover’ it, says PM

Brexit secretary Dominic Raab, who had one job, to achieve an appropriate agreement to leave the EU, has resigned from the government Announcing his departure...
Votey McVoteface

Esther McVey resigns to spend more time with other people’s families

Esther McVey, a former television presenter and now a falling star in Westminster, relishes her career - but admits to no regrets in her...

Knives sharper than the tools carrying them

Causes of knife crime confirmed to be poor choices of dead victims As knife crime continues to plague the streets of the capital, a bleeding...

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