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Johnny Wapping

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Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?
Factory Fire

Explosion in Burnley pie factory causes £3.14159265359 of damage

Since the early 1970s, the Trivial Piesuits factory has been a welcome source of employment, nourishment, and scent for Burnley residents.The squat factory unit,...
Anger

Fictional article published too soon after imaginary incident

A fictional article on a satirical site has been published too soon after an incident that didn't take place.The latest scandal to grip the...

Gay Muslims for Christmas – supermarket turns up the inclusion to 11 with groundbreaking...

Pray together, lay togetherScottish supermarket retailer Laldy has long sought to be a market disrupter by bringing cheap, if slightly bizarre, product, combinations.This...
Heroine

Get on smack if you love the Union Jack – patriots demand you inject...

Britain's most patriotic patriots have led calls for everyone in the country to be forced to inject themselves with poppies. The push for proper...

Restored Big Ben tests bong to ensure it’s ready for Eid

Eid al-Fitr is an important religious holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, London's most popular holy monthRamadan is the ninth month of London's...

Breaching FCO protocol isn’t just Priti bad, Israeli bad

From sitting Priti to up shit creek without a PatelFormer Secretary of State for International Development Priti Patel held undisclosed meetings in Israel accompanied...

ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance

ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenueA Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...

Man celebrates birthday with five back to back parties for friends of his kid

Littleborough man Andrew Bowers certainly knows how to live a little, cramming in a whopping FIVE birthday parties into his 41st birthday party weekend.They...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...
Man and Woman Arguing

Asking not to be felt up at work is hardly a takeover, sigh women

As several leading Princes amongst Men like Charles Moore of the Telegraph and pre-Prince frogs like Quentin Letts recommend women lighten up, share power...

Turning Trump off and on again doesn’t seem to have done any good

The White House Head of IT has expressed his heightened concern that the Presidency could be heading for a critical outage.Head of IT Maurice...
Bored Football Fan

Spurs reassure loyal fans with plan to be shit again by the weekend

Tottenham Hotspur, commonly referred to simply as Tottenham, Spurs, or a word that you really can’t use in an article these days for fear...
Chelsea Pensioner

Chelsea Pensioner breaks Paul Golding’s nose

Biffer bashed as Veteran rejects attempt to hijack Remembrance SundayRemembrance Sunday is commemorated every year on the second Sunday of November to mark the...

MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns

Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier.The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...

Rochdale Herald sign former Welsh international goalkeeper Neville Southall from Twitter

The Rochdale Herald have signed goalkeeper Neville Southall from twitter for an undisclosed fee, that definitely didn’t involve skeletons.The veteran ex-Everton goalie, who is...
Francis Underwood

Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President

Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment.Whilst his Presidency...

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