E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the Pennines, the Court of Appeal has ruled.

Ms Begum, now 20, was one of three schoolgirls who left Rochdale to live in the so called ‘God’s Own County’ in 2015.  Her citizenship of the People’s Republic of Greater Manchester was revoked by the Home Office on security grounds after she was found in a Hebden Bridge refugee camp in 2019.

The Court of Appeal said she had been denied a fair hearing because the stout shoed yeowomen of Hebden Bridge declined to accept the militant’s case locally.

Rochdale Councillor John Blundell slammed the decision, asserting his usual bollocks that “aggressive Begums have no place in Rochdale town centre, and should be fined, as is my policy totally befitting a member of the Labour Party.”  He remained unswayed by claims that E. Begum had been in Labour several times during her stay in Yorkshire.

The ruling means that Rochdale Council must now find a way to allow the 20-year-old to appear in Court in Rochdale, despite repeatedly saying it would not permit aggressive Begums in the town centre.

Lord Justice Flaux – sitting with Lady Justice King and Lord Justice Singh – said: “Fairness and Justice must, on the facts of this case, outweigh the views of John Blundell.  As usual.”

In an earlier edition, we reported that Yorkshire folk have experienced uncharacteristic levels of generosity and love of techno since taking E. Begum, this is however presently unproven.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?