Monday, July 16, 2018

Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning

A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman for adultery for the first time next week. Fatima Hummus told...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Speaking at a press conference late last...
Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to kill off the poor and unemployed. Government spokesman, Cliff Edge said,...

Walkers still putting cheese and onion crisps in wrong coloured bag

Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong colored bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go in the blue one. Crisp aficionado Stan Still said, "Why do...
Tommy Robinson

Muslims should respect our laws, says racist in prison for breaking our laws

Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating "free are Tommy" and two Netto bags full of premium strength lager. They are protesting the imprisonment of Luton...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award

Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award. Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the roof of the prison. One insider told us, "Tommy is already...
Ed Sheeran

Night out at Ed Sheeran gig ruined by Ed Sheeran music

A couple has had their night out at an Ed Sheeran gig completely ruined by Ed Sheeran music. Married couple Steve and Barbara Dickinson from Rochdale were on their bi-annual night out on Thursday when...
Priest

How do we fill workhouses with vulnerable children to “take care of” now, asks...

The Roman Catholic Church is in crisis today after Ireland voted decisively to repeal one of the world's most restrictive abortion bans. The church is now facing an almost total collapse of the number of...
Katie Hopkins

VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins

Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed. Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation following coverage of her disastrous trip to South Africa earlier...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters wedding. Family member, Johannes Atlanta Florida Mississippi III told us, "The...
Gaza

Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip

Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians. Nine Palestinian civilians were shot dead in clashes between Palestine and heavily...

Scottish government urged to act as Edinburgh chip shop caught selling deep-fried HEROIN

Health campaigners in Scotland have urged the SNP government to take immediate action after an Edinburgh chip shop was found to be selling deep-fried Class A drugs. Described by some as "possibly the most Scottish...
Wayne La Pierre

Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...

The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President made a series of controversial comments about knife crime in...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in no way affiliated with or agree with the views of...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local hospital in Dundee yesterday afternoon after drinking a WHOLE glass...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”

Follow us

52,105FansLike
63FollowersFollow
18,423FollowersFollow
18,774FollowersFollow

Popular Posts