Monday, August 20, 2018
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Sebastian Wiesel

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Black Stig

Replacing Burqa with Stig costume fails due to ‘wrong colour Stig’

As reported yesterday, Muslim women have been on the streets in an adapted version of the burka in an attempt to integrate with middle...
Postman

Postmen refuse to empty post boxes as ‘there could be anything in there’

Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers...
UKIP

UKIP suspends member for reading a book

A member of UKIP was today suspended when found reading a book that does not appear on UKIP's 'approved' list. The list, which includes...
John Lewis Weasel

Russia denies involvement as Springwatch ‘Favourite British Wild Animal’ poll won by the weasel.

Questions have been asked as the BBC Springwatch poll to find Britain's favourite wild animal was convincingly won by the weasel. "I have to say...
The Old Bailey

Dramatic confession as video found guilty of radio star murder

A 38 year old killing was finally resolved at the Old Bailey yesterday as Video Charles Robinson, commonly known simply as 'Video' was found...
Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...
Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd becomes Secretary at Home

Amber Rudd today denied she had resigned as Home Secretary, and claimed she had simply renegotiated the job title and specification. "I have agreed...

Pause in Sheffield tree felling as South Yorkshire Police launch raids on public trumpeters

Following the recent arrest of a woman for playing a toy trumpet at a tree felling site, and the resultant revelation that trumpeting in...

‘This isn’t some sort of police state’ says Sheffield man running police state

As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line...

Bacup bakery follow Delta Airlines’ lead, withdraw Britain First discount.

Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.  In line with a recent decision...
Britain First

In search of wankers dozen – story behind Britain First. A two part investigation...

Following the announcement of the new term 'wankers dozen' defined as 'a Britain First meeting', the Rochdale Herald has been investigating the story behind...
Trump Idiotic

Trump thwarts Milnrow knife attack.

Diners in a Milnrow curry house were astonished as the 45th (and probably last) President of the USA stopped an armed bandit carrying out...
Britain First

New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’

The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...

Spice Girls Wannapee reunion tour sponsored by Tena

Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform. The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift...

Cricketers auctioned off to fund the NHS.

Protesters have accused Westminster of 'human trafficking' to fund the NHS. The government has moved quickly to deny accusations that they are selling off Britain's...

Trump to produce new range of fragrances

Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects...

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