Monday, June 18, 2018
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Sebastian Wiesel

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Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd becomes Secretary at Home

Amber Rudd today denied she had resigned as Home Secretary, and claimed she had simply renegotiated the job title and specification. "I have agreed...

Pause in Sheffield tree felling as South Yorkshire Police launch raids on public trumpeters

Following the recent arrest of a woman for playing a toy trumpet at a tree felling site, and the resultant revelation that trumpeting in...

‘This isn’t some sort of police state’ says Sheffield man running police state

As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line...

Bacup bakery follow Delta Airlines’ lead, withdraw Britain First discount.

Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.  In line with a recent decision...
Britain First

In search of wankers dozen – story behind Britain First. A two part investigation...

Following the announcement of the new term 'wankers dozen' defined as 'a Britain First meeting', the Rochdale Herald has been investigating the story behind...
Trump Idiotic

Trump thwarts Milnrow knife attack.

Diners in a Milnrow curry house were astonished as the 45th (and probably last) President of the USA stopped an armed bandit carrying out...
Britain First

New phrase ‘Wankers Dozen’ defined as ‘Britain First meeting’

The Rochdale to English Dictionary today confirmed it would be adding the colloquial phrase 'wankers dozen' to their 2019 edition. The R.E.D.'s official definition...

Spice Girls Wannapee reunion tour sponsored by Tena

Music - The world's most successful all-girl prefabricated band The Spice Girls have announced plans to reform. The quintet, featuring the newly-nicknamed Crusty Spice, Stairlift...

Cricketers auctioned off to fund the NHS.

Protesters have accused Westminster of 'human trafficking' to fund the NHS. The government has moved quickly to deny accusations that they are selling off Britain's...

Trump to produce new range of fragrances

Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects...
Trump Idiotic

Book criticising Trump to be boycotted by people who have never bought a book.

There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President...

TERRIFYING new data reveals DANGER of reading Trump tweets about COMMERCIAL AIRLINES.

The latest figures covering deaths on American commercial airlines have shown a spectacular rise of OVER 1 MILLION per cent in 2017. The...
UFO

Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders

It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped...

Fears for Rochdale black pudding supply as Bury announces plans to exit Lancashire free...

Rochdale residents with a taste for black pudding were left fearing for the future as Bury announced plans to leave the Lancashire Economic Community....
Morrissey

Charles Manson was just a bit excitable claims Morrissey

Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by...

Local journalist creates entire article from on line forum comments.

A journalist at a Sheffield local newspaper has admitted that an entire article published in Friday's edition of the Sheffield Councilpleaser was constructed entirely...

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