The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal outfit formed by the ecological campaigner.
It is seen as the biggest image change since Charlotte Church started performing mannered anthemic rock in a basque and knickers.
Called ‘Scorched Earth and Extinction’ the album is only available electronically as records have petroleum in them and CDs are, like, plastic, you know. Chart analysts predict the release will top the album chart outselling ‘Fuck Me, Are They Still Going’ by The Courteeners. Among the tracks are ‘Eat Shit You Carnivore Monsters’ and the lead single ‘Spit On Trump (On A Spit).
The latter sees the cherub faced eco-pixie screaming the lyrics, “Donald ain’t no good to me / spear him on rotisserie. Piss on him like lemonade/ baste him in saliva marinade.” All profits will go towards shitloads of cocaine.