Man dies of boredom after chance meeting with vegan who does CrossFit

A Rochdale man has died after being placed near a group of Gym buddies at a Christmas party.Horace Cope was rushed to hospital after a chance meeting with Jim Nasium, a noted Vegan nutritionist...

Brainless moron shaves 30 seconds off his drive home by doing 70 through the...

One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him to drive home.Brainless moron Ted Skeat said, "I first realised...

Getting drunk and falling over is the real meaning of Christmas, says everyone

Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the British public.Narrowly beating 'Two days off work' and 'Getting an...

Posh twit in gilet loses both arms to frostbite

Henry Charles Chomlomoly has been telling us how he's lost both his arms whilst out sledging.Harry told us, "Cripes, got up this morning and it was a white out so the kids wanted to...

“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends

Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends.Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire said, "Last week we went to the pub with the...

Middle aged man who bought passata just one small step from red skinny jeans...

Rochdale man Stan Still is just a short step away from buying skinny red jeans according to his girlfriend.Alga Rithem, Stan's partner for the last 25 tears, told us, "I don't know where this...

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