A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas.

Stan Still told us, “I’ve played in bands since I was 12 and think it’s a great idea for kids to get into music at a young age. Trempranillo is only 2 but he’s already shown he has a natural aptitude for music. We often jam together so him having his own keyboard will be really good for that. His parents should be pleased because I’m nurturing his creativity.”

Stan bought the RockJam 49 key keyboard online on Saturday and has taken time out of his busy gigging schedule to ensure he’s in to receive it on Wednesday evening.

Stan told us, “I’m starting him on a keyboard but it’s going to build from there. Once he’s mastered a few scales and understands how chord structure works I’m going to buy him a Soprano Saxophone or maybe a Violin. We often play Irish songs together so it’ll be good for that. Then, once he’s 12 I’ll introduce him to a drum kit. I’ll have my van sorted then so I’ll be able to drive him to gigs.”

Tempranillo’s mum told us, “Yes the gift of music. The gift of being able to go to loads of rubbish pubs and play for a crowd of people who just wish you’d go away. Then going home to a lonely room you rent in a house to be alone with your dreams of being a rich rock star. I’m sure Tempranillo will show his enthusiasm in his usual way. He’ll probably soil himself.”

His father said, “Oh great, it’s got 18 pre-set songs in it. I look forward to hearing the same ones again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.”

Tempranillo’s grandfather told us, “At least it’s not a recorder I suppose.”


Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.