Free market capitalism works says financial wizard pouring billions of public money into free...

A party of financial wizards who can't agree which wizard should be head wizard has given a talk today on how free market capitalism works at a gathering of believers in magic.They have done...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse

Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour.Burt Monroe, long time neighbour of the staunch republican and PM...
Ryanair

Jeremy Corbyn says Labour will Nationalise RyanAir

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has layed out plans to take RyanAir into public ownership alongside the railways and the Royal Mail in a radical manifesto that promises to solve every problem instantly.A draft...
Man counting money

The Man Who Broke The Bank Of England Backs Corbyn

George Soros, the Hungarian-American Billionaire who famously broke the Bank of England on Black Wednesday in 1992, is said to be close to throwing his financial support behind Jeremy Corbyn and the Labour Party. ...
Girls Don't Like Boys

Institute for Fiscal Studies claims girls don’t like boys, girls like cars and money

Economists at The Institute for Fiscal Studies sensationally claimed yesterday that girls don't like boys but they do like cars and money.The report said that provided men are "educated, with money, well-dressed, not funny,...
Pregnancy

Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...

The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as a result of Brexit.The scheme titled “Kids for Britain” will...
Millionaire

Tax efficient billionaires back plans to close tax loopholes for window washers and cleaners

The Taylor Review into modern working practices this week revealed an alarming tax loophole that is robbing the honest British taxpayer of billions in revenue each and every year.The loophole is not apparently the...
Bank entrance

Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test

Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually be truthmongering.The surprising intervention comes as new economic data strongly...

UK’s employers terrified workers will stop working through their lunch hour if houses become...

Concerns have been expressed today by the United Kingdom’s biggest employers that a house price crash will lead to a deepening of the productivity crisis facing the UK because people may stop work during...
Migration

Overmortgaged Soft Southern Twats to buy entire North of England during next house price...

Public officials in the North of England are conducting secret emergency planning meetings in preparation for one of the largest migrations of people in the country's history. And it is nothing to do with Brexit. ...
Fireman

Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials

Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from public sector workers heckling for a pay rise.First Michael Gove...

Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms

The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway.The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing to do with Labour taking a swag of seats at...

You can’t trust a man with a beard says Daily Express

Corbyn is clearly trying to turn Britain into Soviet Russia, insinuate the media today after a leaked list of ideas described as a manifesto.“Sounds like communisms to me,” said Eamon Inderstrete from Rochdale, “Fancy...
Corbyn

LABOUR TAX BOMBSHELL TAX TAX BOMBSHELL TAX LABOUR TAX TAX BOMB TAX!!!!!

The entire media demanded that Labour provide a triplicated cost analysis today after it was announced that Jeremy Corbyn might be planning to put the kettle on.“Tax Fears as Labour Announce Brewtime” read the...

Pound Pinches Parisian Patterning – Press and Paparazzi Perplexed

Scandal hits the UK economy once again as the new £1 coin (GBP) is accused of fashion plagiarism by the Continental Euro (EUR).Speaking via Text relay phone service to Donna Bellievitti, the €1 coin had the...
Theresa May

Strong economy responsible for Sun coming up and tides says Theresa May

All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May.When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was down to a strong economy brought to us by a...

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