Completely imaginary money continues to give investors an interesting ride after its value of approximately whatever we pretend it is fell by a third.

So far today pretend money that doesn’t exist anywhere and is backed by nothing but thoughts and prayers fell in value by 14%.

According to the imaginary money website,, this puts made up money on track for its worst week since 2013.

Regardless, overall make believe electric money has had a ridiculous year after starting trading in 2017 at a $1,000.

Mr Charles Ponzi, founder and chief executive of industry leading investment firm Ponzi and Associates, said: “A mad rise in the number of lunatics who are prepared to give tech companies money underwritten by governments in return for money that isn’t has really driven the fluctuation in value.”

“The problem with this kind of investment scheme is that you need an infinite number of idiots if you want the value to continue rising.”

“The last man to arrive at the party has to eat the biscuit. If you know what I mean?”

The last few weeks have seen pretending that imaginary money is actually worth something gain some legitimacy after two major exchanges started trading livestock futures for magic beans in the US.

“This allows investors to swap the family cow for beans with a bloke they’ve never met in the hope they’re actually magical and not just Skittles.”

Many US investors are said to be looking forward to roast Golden Goose for Christmas lunch.

Investors in Skittles have had an excellent few weeks.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.