A leading think tank of financial experts claim that the legalisation of Cannabis for recreational use in the UK could generate an estimated £1Bn in the sale of Doritos alone and could have a number of positive effects on the UK economy.

Apparent Yorkshireman Lord William Hague recently emerged as a leading advocate of the legalisation of Cannabis and explained that he has recently invested a significant amount of time into investigating the possible benefits of making the drug legal.

The former Foreign Secretary said the increase in sales of Doritos and other go-to ‘pot-snacks’ could have a substantial and sustained benefit to the UK Economy;

“I really think, like, you know, the legalling of cannabis could like, increase things. Lots. Man. Plus, I mean, have you ever tried a Twix wrapped in ham? It’ll change your life bro.”

The legalisation of the class B drug is also predicted to benefit other businesses including sloth proponents ‘Just Eat’ and nut types ‘KP’, who believe that an increase in the consumption and sale of Space Raiders could see them make over £1.6M in profit which should off-set the short fall they have suffered since 1995 when EU laws prevented them from producing bawdy nut dispensing displays for pubs.

Renowned posh man Boris Johnson is currently working on ways of condensing the latest financial projection into bus based advert in order to garner support.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.