Friday, June 22, 2018

Surprise as West Ham Fan runs 50 yards on pitch without stopping for fag...

It has been crowned the greatest sporting achievement at the London Stadium since the 2012 Olympics. There was shock and surprise as a West Ham United fan ran 50 yards on the London Stadium pitch,...

Media finally find someone who didn’t already think all professional cyclists were on drugs

Shocking news broke this week that not everyone in the UK considers professional cyclists to be routine drug users. Other media outlets this week revealed that they had found an adult human being with an...

New dementia awareness campaign just GB cycling doctor trying to remember what drugs he’s...

Using drugs that are not banned but enhance performance is definitely not cheating." That's what head of British cycling Zammo Maguire says today. McGuire was speaking after a Parliamentary report was released on alleged doping....
Billy Morgan

Winter Olympics: Billy Morgan carries EU flag instead of Union Jack at closing ceremony

Snowboarding bronze medallist Billy Morgan carried the EU flag instead of the Union Jack at the Winter Olympics closing ceremony on Sunday. Morgan, 28, won bronze in the men's big air on Saturday to take...

“Curling is so boring I needed vodka Red Bulls to stay awake” says banned...

As the Olympic curling competition reaches its 14th straight day, Russian athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky has tested positive for the stimulant RedBull and been banished from the games. As viewers all over the world struggle...

BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break

Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event of nuclear winter. Currently, other leagues around Europe have scheduled a...

Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer

"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not have as much money as Tottenham." A Rochdale AFC spokesman was...

Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics

There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics committee Stavros Davros gave his approval for a proposed Autumn...

Winter Olympics shock after allegations that many of the events are just an elaborate...

Brenda "Brenda" Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that Curling and some other winter sports were not really sports...
Slipping

Team GB aim for Olympic Gold in ‘Slipping over while carrying the shopping home’

Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have no fear, we're still in with a chance. As training facilities...

British man understands American football

A man from Newquay in Cornwall has revealed that he actually understands American football. With the BBC proclaiming that the Monday after the Hyperbole, or whatever it's called, is "national sickie day", The Rochdale Herald...
Pole Vaulter

Mexican pole vaulter gold medal prospect training at the Trump Wall

Mexico - The Mexican Olympic Games committee have revealed that their biggest prospect of a gold medal in two years time at the 2020 Tokyo games lies in a recently discovered pole vaulter discovered...

Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps

Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps. The Euro-wankers, already quaking at the prospect of an ever more successful looking Brexit,...

Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst

The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles as part of a series of measures to reduce noise...

Female Russian athletes call 2018 Winter Olympics ban ‘a real kick in the nuts’

The Russian Olympic Committee has reacted angrily to its ban from next year's Winter Olympics in South Korea, with female athletes in particular calling the move 'a real kick in the nuts'. The ban comes...

England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test

Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the two sides by holding a joint press conference with his...

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