“Curling is so boring I needed vodka Red Bulls to stay awake” says banned...

As the Olympic curling competition reaches its 14th straight day, Russian athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky has tested positive for the stimulant RedBull and been banished from the games. As viewers all over the world struggle...

BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break

Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event of nuclear winter. Currently, other leagues around Europe have scheduled a...

Rochdale v Spurs – “New tarmac pitch should silence critics” says spokesfootballer

"I'm prepared to admit that the playing surface wasn't perhaps 110%, but Mr Pinocchio has no right to criticise another club that might not have as much money as Tottenham." A Rochdale AFC spokesman was...

Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics

There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics committee Stavros Davros gave his approval for a proposed Autumn...

Winter Olympics shock after allegations that many of the events are just an elaborate...

Brenda "Brenda" Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that Curling and some other winter sports were not really sports...
Slipping

Team GB aim for Olympic Gold in ‘Slipping over while carrying the shopping home’

Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have no fear, we're still in with a chance. As training facilities...

British man understands American football

A man from Newquay in Cornwall has revealed that he actually understands American football. With the BBC proclaiming that the Monday after the Hyperbole, or whatever it's called, is "national sickie day", The Rochdale Herald...
Pole Vaulter

Mexican pole vaulter gold medal prospect training at the Trump Wall

Mexico - The Mexican Olympic Games committee have revealed that their biggest prospect of a gold medal in two years time at the 2020 Tokyo games lies in a recently discovered pole vaulter discovered...

Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps

Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps. The Euro-wankers, already quaking at the prospect of an ever more successful looking Brexit,...

Moaning Mourinho In Lip Wobble Outburst

The future of games at Old Trafford are in doubt after Manchester United Manager Jose Mourinho demanded the removal of peas from referee's whistles as part of a series of measures to reduce noise...

Female Russian athletes call 2018 Winter Olympics ban ‘a real kick in the nuts’

The Russian Olympic Committee has reacted angrily to its ban from next year's Winter Olympics in South Korea, with female athletes in particular calling the move 'a real kick in the nuts'. The ban comes...

England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test

Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the two sides by holding a joint press conference with his...
Putin 2

FIFA rejects World Cup draw rigging allegations after Russia selected to play against Russia

FIFA have been forced to defend more allegations of corruption after the 2018 World Cup hosts, Russia, were selected to play against themselves in the group stages. The event saw Gary Lineker and Russian presenter...

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that they will be supporting Brazil in the football. Artemisa Yousir, originally...

Significantly lower brain function can lead to heading footballs, scientists reveal

Scientists have revealed that significantly lower brain function can lead to being a footballer. Researchers said they had identified "significantly lower levels of brain function" as a common factor amongst many footballers who, the study...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday, displaying the poppy. However poppies up and down the country have...

Follow us

50,428FansLike
56FollowersFollow
18,423FollowersFollow
16,817FollowersFollow

Popular Posts