POTATUS, Donald Trump telephoned and congratulated Rochdale AFC on winning the Superbowl on Sunday night. Much to the surprise of club officials.

A club spokesman said, “The Chairman was catching up on Love Island when he took the call. At first he thought it was a wind up so he’s now banned from giving live interviews to ESPN. POTATUS was having none of it so it was just easier to go along with it in the end. POTATUS said that winning the Superbowl is the preserve of a chosen few and that he would host a reception for the team. Anyway, the team are flying out to the White House for a celebratory reception.”

Initially the plan was to have hamburgers at the reception but following a request from the club they will now eat a pie and pea supper with 9 pints of Carling each

A White House spokesman told us, “We’ve got a band practicing some songs for the reception although, some of the content is a bit different. Something about a guy’s penis being offside and loads of stuff about Bury. Sure it’ll be fine sung by a gospel choir though.”

The club has refused to comment on suggestions that Trump will attempt to purchase the club and give it to youngest son, Barron.


Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.