National News

Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today. The event will see gammons from all over the country converge on London...

Men around the world have confirmed that it's not Christmas until they have seen either a German terrorist or a half naked prostitute fall from the window of a sksyscraper. "It's a close run thing...

The Herald has discovered that father Christmas has been denied a visa to enter the UK on Christmas Eve, amid fears he may decide to settle and bring his entire family. Father Christmas, real name...

Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian Blind told us, "The people have spoken. It's our will...

UKIP members are cock-a-hoop at the news that leader Gerald Batman has engaged the services of Tommy Robinson to advise on grooming gangs. "This is fantastic news" said UKIP voter Cornelius Hardthrasher. "Our quest to...

The latest Etonian voice of the people, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is convinced that his Catholicism gives him the the edge on some woman Jacob Rees-Mogg, who has three times as many children as surnames, has positioned...

Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that they aren't doing enough to counteract fake news. It's alleged...

Prime Minster, and Britain's foremost pterodactyl impersonator, Theresa May is rumoured to be announcing that she will be a last minute entrant to this years 'I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'. May, who...

The new Brexit Secretary, Jeremy Rees-Gove has told hard-line Brexiteers to downplay their expectations. "It's become clear that writing something on the side of a bus is no guarantee of achieving it, as we had...

Dominic Raab has announced he's resigning to spend more time with his Geography GCSE revision. Mr Raaab announced his resignation earlier today saying, "I've spent 5 months trying to negotiate Brexit and all I've...

Princess Diana's ghost has told Daily Express readers that Theresa May's Brexit deal is a complete car crash. Speaking to the Express Diana's ghost said, "I see that there has been a Brexit announcement. The...

Brexit secretary Dominic Raab, who had one job, to achieve an appropriate agreement to leave the EU, has resigned from the government Announcing his departure on Twitter, because of course he did, because we are...

Esther McVey, a former television presenter and now a falling star in Westminster, relishes her career - but admits to no regrets in her personal life Esther McVey is used to gossip. When she was...

It was revealed today that the Brexit deal was decided by the British government and the EC leaders taking part in an episode of popular 1980s game show 'Bullseye'. The British pair, Dominic Raab and...

You may remember that last year we partnered with some other brilliant satirists to run a Secret Santa for underprivileged children. Well it really, really took off and created a life of its own. The...

You may remember that last year we partnered with some other brilliant satirists to run a Secret Santa for underprivileged children. Well it really, really took off and created a life of its own. The...