Man with mug of tea

Northern man puts teabag directly in bin without putting it in the sink

In a world first a northern man has put a teabag into the bin without first putting it into the sink for a few hours.Northerner Steve Dickinson was making a mug of tea when...

Fury as plastic poppy fetishists aren’t allowed to sing their favourite song

Royal British Legion members from Little Mynd, near Rochdale, have been denied the chance to sing their favourite song during their annual attendance at church.The row erupted as the hymn Onward Christian Soldiers was...

Grandparent babysitting for half term wonders “Is it too early for a drink?” Monday...

A grandparent who nonchalantly offered to babysit for the entire half term week has already wondered if it's too early for a drink?Granny Syllable, 67, Bristol, spoke to the Rochdale Herald’s Affordable Childcare correspondent...

Dog awards Michelin star to cat litter tray

Rover Thomson, a five year old chocolate labrador from Newlyn, has awarded a Michelin star to the cat litter tray located in his family home.The surprising award was explained by Rover as just desserts...

Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed

A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed.“He was the most doting husband when we first married,” Mrs Marjorie Casserole begun, after phoning the Rochdale Herald’s confidential...

Harvey Weinstein is a Democrat is the new Hitler was a Vegetarian

Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill SchoolAll the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it.  “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so ner,” is the new top riposte in their ongoing battle...
Kitten

Fluffy kitten is a double hard bastard

An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with.13 week old psychopath Tiddles has been living with a couple in Bury...
Water Treatment

Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...

Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption.Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should boil tap water to within an inch of its life...
Hideous Bathroom Suite

Couple decide not to get new bathroom after all

A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided not to renovate their kitchen.“We were thinking about spending thousands...

Border collie describes his life as a series of trials

Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his home are constantly rewarded with food.“The kids are a pain...

Family dog doesn’t understand why you reward your children with food

Malcolm, an inner city border collie, has spoken exclusively to the Rochdale Herald and explained he does not understand why the children in his home are constantly rewarded with food.“The kids are a pain...
Rochdale paramedics

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. So far emergency services have rescued 10 people, including an employee, who have been injured in a multi trolley pile...

Rochdale vale terrorised by 1% outlaw motorhome gangs

Rochdale is in the grips of an outlaw Caravaner gang; who are terrorising wild life, being a public nuisance and brawling with dog walkers over the use of picnic tables at the Hollingworth nature...

Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver

A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that originally bought it.The bottle has been gifted an estimated twelve...

Estate agent knows you want to fire him

Terry Thomas, 33, a south London real estate agent, is aware every single one of his clients wants to fire him.Mr Thomas has been working for his current agency, Imcomp & Tense, on a...

DNA analysis of white poo on Rochdale street reveals that it comes from a...

Experts tracking down rogue dog owners in Rochdale came up with the shocking news that prehistoric species are alive and kicking. What's more, the anachronistic creatures have been tracked down.A small nest of the...

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