Local News

A Burnley man has told us that he fears moves for more diversity will mean that people will be forced to marry outside of their immediate family. Bill Board told us, "For years Burnley residents...

Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were a nuclear missile launch site throughout the 70's and 80's,...

Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he was arrested for possession of the Class A drug cocaine. However...

A Rochdale woman has miraculously found the secret to happiness by following the guidance of a male passerby who told her to 'smile, love, it might never happen'. Ellie McGregor, 28, said that by following...

A Yorkshire couple have received a five year suspended sentence for having unprotected sex. The sentence, which has been suspended for two years, is the 657,077th to be handed down to couples for having unprotected...

A Rochdale man who keeps saying that all lives matter is also in favour of the Royal Navy being used to torpedo boats carrying refugees. Bill Board, who lives in a 2 bedroom terrace house...

A Christmas Miracle has been declared after a disabled man was completely cured after parking his BMW across two handicapped parking bays at Rochdale Waitrose.

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the back room. The incident occurred at around 4pm local time as...

There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers were queuing around the corner from 6am after Waitrose announced...

A Rochdale resident who regularly invokes the Blitz Spirit has been out an panic bought 70 bottles of hand sanitizer today. Bill Board regularly greets minor annoyances such as train delays and getting stuck in...

Following the recent arrest of a woman for playing a toy trumpet at a tree felling site, and the resultant revelation that trumpeting in a public place is illegal; South Yorkshire Police stopped protecting...

Members of the public have reacted with OUTRAGE at the news that a new tattoo studio for babies and toddlers has opened in Rochdale town centre.

An adorably fluffy little kitten from Bury has confirmed he is a double hard bastard who is not to be trifled with. 13 week old psychopath Tiddles has been living with a couple in Bury...

At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a report anti social behaviour. Reports since indicate that fighting had broken...

A Rochdale family have been telling The Rochdale Herald how a Burnley couple have invited them to Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college said, "It's a holiday not traditionally celebrated here as...

There was a commotion on Drake Street in Rochdale this afternoon as crowds of people gathered from all corners of the town to gaze in bewilderment at a man going about his day in...