Black death condemned for being racist
Traditional remedies, like bleeding and mercury, have proved ineffective. Complementary therapists have suggested vaccination, but have been dismissed by mothers who prefer their infants to die naturally rather than to become autistic church goers.
Monty Python Parrot cleared fit for work by ATOS
The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.
Drunk driver that crashed car into tree blames tree for causing accident
A drunk driver that crashed his car into a tree on Saturday night has told us the tree caused the accident.
A police spokesman said,...
Plan to put Michael Gove in Wicker Man on Saddleworth Moor receives cross party...
It's been revealed that a plan to put Michael Gove in a Wicker man on Saddleworth Moor has gained cross party approval and could...
Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day.
7 year old Bill Board said,...
Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket
There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...
Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped
Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...
Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den
Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...
Trading Standards to prosecute Gastro Pub for using plates
A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than...
Rochdale Twin Towns To Be Replaced Post-Brexit
In line with the decision taken by the government that following the UK's departure from the EU, British towns will no longer be allowed...
Rochdale man to drink 100 pints to help the N.H.S.
Rochdale resident Jim Tossking has announced that he hopes to raise £25m for the N.H.S. by supping 100 pints of bitter.
A regular at Rochdale's...
Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022.
Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...
SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE
Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...
Man begins month long quest to get fit
In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
Rochdale unaffected by US Government shutdown confirms Council chief
Rochdale - The leader of Rochdale Borough Council, Councillor Allen Brett, has reassured residents of the town that they won't be affected by the...
Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal
A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.
Carried out at the...
