Local News

Dame Judi Dench, 81 years young, gave the world it's first sneak preview of her first ever tattoo at this afternoon's premiere of Aladdin at Rochdale's Gracie Fields Theatre. 'Ive been well into Ryan since...

A drunk driver that crashed his car into a tree on Saturday night has told us the tree caused the accident. A police spokesman said, "We were called to a report of a man having...

There was OUTRAGE in Rochdale this afternoon after council documents were leaked to The Rochdale Herald about the forthcoming closure of the world famous Stansfield nudist beach. Naturists have been frolicking stark bollock naked on...

In a paper published in the journal Science this week scientists led by, Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College have said they've observed Burnley residents using basic tools, communicating in grunts and solving simple...

Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he was arrested for possession of the Class A drug cocaine. However...

A Burnley man has told us that he fears moves for more diversity will mean that people will be forced to marry outside of their immediate family. Bill Board told us, "For years Burnley residents...

The famous Monty Python Parrot was cleared for work this morning following a work capability assessment interview.

The computer superstore PC World, this morning lies in tatters as a pile of smouldering rubble following a devastating attack last night.  The trouble began early yesterday when the EDL and Britain First Facebook pages...

In line with the decision taken by the government that following the UK's departure from the EU, British towns will no longer be allowed to be twinned with town within the European zone.  Rochdale has...

A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than on old dustbin lids and chopping boards. "We've received reports of...

Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being held for questioning by Greater Manchester Police under new anti-misandry...

Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022. Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement was made in garbled English written on the back of...

A 22 year old Rochdale resident has told us that his new 'green' job is actually just picking vegetables for £3.50 an hour. Bill Board, who was recently made redundant from Rolls Royce told us,...

Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints of Carling. Higglesworth, described in court as being of no fixed...

There were frantic scenes of violence and looting yesterday morning after Waitrose ran out of the 2009 vintage of the Chateau Lafite de Rothschild. Customers were queuing around the corner from 6am after Waitrose announced...

A Rochdale woman has miraculously found the secret to happiness by following the guidance of a male passerby who told her to 'smile, love, it might never happen'. Ellie McGregor, 28, said that by following...