Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.

One attendee told us, “It’s great to see so many people out testing their eyesight before driving home. I’ve read at least 40 eye test charts at various distances and can confirm that I’m ok to drive.”

Another told us, “My eyesight is very important to me. The other week I attended one of these mass tests on my own street. We all sang, We’ll meet again. Then we tested various cakes and read the letters V and E from various distances. It’s nice to be able to get together in the town for a bit of mass testing.”

A third one, Bill Board told us, “Last week I tested my eyesight by going to the beach and reading the writing on several distant ships. It’s nice to be able to do this closer to home.”

Bill served in the Army for 23 years before leaving, buying a 3 bedroom semi-detached house that is now worth £250,000. He has 2 cats, a collection of antique dart boards and type II diabetes.

Elsewhere McDonald’s has been inundated with people attending eye tests at its drive-thru’s. One employee told us, “We’ve been really busy. Loads of people turned up yesterday and parked at various distances from the menu and read items off it.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.