Gerry Adams to launch cooking show called, Gerry’s Duck a l’Orange March

Gerry Adams is releasing a new cook book and getting a new cookery show on RTÉ. The show will be called, Gerry's Duck a l'Orange March. It sees Adams travelling around Ireland cooking various...

Psychic World Cup octopus Rabio sleeps with the fishes

Psychic Rabio set to bring joy to many Japanese football fans despite the national team's recent World Cup exit. While the Japanese football team face a disappointing journey home after failing to make it through...

Wetherspoons launches Thursday night Gammon Time menu

Wetherspoons new Thursday night Gammon Time menu has been declared a stunning success by Wetherspoons gammon in chief Hamhock O'Porcine. Hamhock said, "We've decided to market to the pre Question Time audience. They can come...

Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals

Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...

Walkers still putting cheese and onion crisps in wrong coloured bag

Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go in the blue one. Crisp aficionado Stan Still said, "Why do...

Walkers to launch new gammon flavoured crisps

Crisp maker, Walkers have announced the launch of a new line of gammon flavoured crisps. The new crisps will come in a range of gammon based flavours. With gammon and honey, double gammon, gammon with...

Burnley opens new “All you won’t eat” vegetarian restaurant

Burnley's first "All you won't eat" buffet style restaurant opened it's doors today. The lavish 10 seater eaterie offers food that most locals would never eat such as fresh fruit, vegetables (not chips), lah-dee-dah...

Burnley mum left ‘fuming’ after finding half a vegetable in packet of frozen rats

A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside a bag. Jayda Daley, 28, had just prepared dinner for her...
Meat Pie

Man finds Chicken chunks in his Supermarket Brand Chicken and Mushroom Pie

Daniel Dawkins, a 45 year old unemployed plasterer from Manchester was shocked to discover actual genuine Chicken pieces in his local supermarket brand chicken and mushroom pie. "At first I didn't know what it...

Illusionist ‘Dynamo’ announces new chain of restaurants called AbraKebabra

Dead-pan mind boggler 'Dynamo' has announced that he will be opening a new chain of restaurants called 'AbraKebabra'. Bradford born 'Dynamo', real name Derren Copperfield, has long been a fan of the donner kebab and...

Level 9 vegan stops eating anything that casts shadow

The scene, a shed on a barren windswept farm. The place, deep within West Yorkshire's infamous rhubarb triangle, the home of hidden suffering for millions of rhubarb plants. Activist, Honey Oil-Spring, a level 9...

Somebody on Facebook has eaten some food

It is being widely reported by sources around the world that somebody on Facebook has cooked and eaten a tasty meal.

Dad boils right amount of pasta for family of 4

Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self. Many strive to reach this end but few ever achieve it. However, when Rochdale man Steve...
Bearded hipster coffee

Flexitarians disappointed to learn that it means same as omnivorous

Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous. Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College shows that humans have been omnivorous for a long...

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