Psychic Rabio set to bring joy to many Japanese football fans despite the national team’s recent World Cup exit.
While the Japanese football team face a disappointing journey home after failing to make it through to the World Cup Quarter Finals, Japanese football pundit and former octopus Rabio is set to begin a promising new career as delicious, tender and succulent sashimi.
Rabio’s agent, a fisherman named Kimio Abe, discovered the Cephlaopod’s talent for predicting the results of a string of World Cup Fixtures in a paddling pool as the 8 legged youngster showed flair and movement. However, Abe decided that Rabios talents would be more suited to the plate than to the pitch.
The Japanese football association has already announced that they will be replacing Rabio with a younger octopus in the hope of attracting a new audience to their football coverage. The move bears many similarities to when Match Of The Day host Des Lynam was replaced by Gary Lineker in 1999.
Lineker, similar Rabio, also enjoyed a short-lived but ultimately doomed career in Japanese football.
It is rumoured that ITV have already been in talks with Derek Acorah in an attempt to make contact with Rabio to see if he has any predictions ahead of England’s upcoming fixture against Colombia.
Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.