A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey.
“Once I found a tin of gold spray paint round the back of the shed, the persistent idea that I was a large noble raptor rather than a dumpy flightless edible fowl came to me.” said the turkey/eagle who wished to be addressed as ‘Auric’.
“Having sprayed myself gold, my beautiful plumage marked me as different from the land-bound human fodder in the farm. A quick fake beak, eat a few dead mice and my dream of being an eagle was realised. I am awaiting surgery to remove my ugly uneagley comb and to reshape my body. I’ve also been promised a small jet pack to help me soar majestically as an eagle should.”
The farmer, Matthew Bernard, said “There’s nothing I can do. Legally, if he identifies as an eagle, as an employer I have to respect that and facilitate his transition to full eaglehood. Though obviously if he comes after my lambs, I’ll shoot the bastard, protected status or not.”