snowstorm

Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...

The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be an idea to get his big coat out of the...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's set to overshadow the race for Christmas Number One.It...

Britain WARNED to expect seasonally COLD WEATHER in winter AGAIN

The UK has been warned that parts of the country could get a bit colder now that it is almost December for the billionth year in a row.The Met Office has warned Northern Ireland,...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is brewing.The white plastic chair, part of a set of four...

Ireland wakes up in South Atlantic after all-night craic.

The island of Ireland had braced itself for the oncoming of storm Ophelia in the best Irish tradition, with a night of craic and a barrel of Guinness.On Monday it was reported that over...
Windy Out

It’s a bit windy out

People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy outside.It wasn't windy earlier in the day but started to...
Man in warm coat

Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat

Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry of leaves and zipping his coat up, the Met Office...

Northerners scared by red sun consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

Looking outside this morning millions of British citizens were confronted by an unusually shade of overcast and the sun glowing a curious red.Researchers from the Met Office say the unique colour was likely caused...
Bono

Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite

The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocksA petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite" is now the most popular petition of Irish origins on...

Shipping alert as Monster Fatberg spotted in Caribbean

The Caribbean is facing more misery this week as islanders struggle to deal with the destruction left in the wake of Hurricane Irma.What has been described as a "monster fatberg" has been spotted in...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.However he did say that whilst there was no hurricane coming “it...
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at a rare public appearance as a guest of Dave Chappelle...

Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy

Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it has no right to do so.“Donald Trump is fake...
US Military

Trump mobilizes Military to defend against Hurricane Irma with ‘fire and fury’

As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather and has ordered the United States Army to defend Florida...
Hurricane

God pisses himself laughing after sending hurricane named for Harvey Milk to wipe most...

God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald Trump signing an executive order banning trans-sexuals from the United...

British meteorologists blame wet August on an increase in cloud storage by Apple

The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.

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