As Storm Ciara batters it’s way across the country we at The Rochdale Herald ask, is the EU to blame?

Bill Board, Wetherspoons Raconteur.

“Of course it is. The EU and George Soros are trying to replace us through immigration. Since we left they can’t do that so they’ve got CERN to change our weather which has led to this storm. Look at its name, Ciara. French name isn’t it. This is because Macron is using it to deflect from the fact France collapsed 6 months ago. They just don’t want you to know.”

Stan Still, Critcal Thinking Philosopher 

“This is definitely the EU. They’re trying to get a storm to destroy our houses so we all ho out and get Coronavirus. They engineered that so big pharma could make a vaccine and sell it. German pharmaceutical companies want to be able to sell us the vaccine and to be able to do that they need us to all be infected. By destroying buildings they hope to get us all infected so we have to buy the vaccine.”

Orla Board, yeller at cars.

“The EU love gays and gays cause bad weather. They’ve converted Philip Schofield this week and now we’ve got this storm. Are you telling me that’s a coincidence?”

Cliff Edge, waiting for a bus.

“It’s the EU. It’s definitely because we’re allowed to use light bulbs again now we’re out and they’re jealous.”

Whilst the MET Office told us that it is being caused by fast moving air in the jet stream meeting cold arctic air from Canada we have found that the weight of evidence demonstrates that it is caused by the EU.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.