Donald Trump has claimed all 12 people currently known to have died in the Carolinas as a result of Storm Florence were Democrats.
“Proof that God hates the crooked Democrats!” tweeted Trump, melting the keypad of yet another mobile phone.
“Maybe it’s a warning to people about voting in November. Bad things happen if you oppose me. Like being smited down.”
Trump’s claim comes despite the fact that there are areas of South Carolina where you could put fifty residents in a huge sack, hit it repeatedly with a baseball bat and be 100% sure you wouldn’t hurt a Democrat voter.
Photographic evidence was also discounted by Trump as he claimed a photo of the corpse of an elderly white man wearing a MAGA hat being cut out of a tree-flattened F150 Ford pickup with gun racks was actually a photo of a young dead black woman in a beanie being removed from a Toyota Prius.
“Photoshop. Very sad.” whined the ‘President’.