Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster

After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in question present the case for Remain to allow for balanced...

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon change their name to De Gréoire.Long established as a culinary...

Crackdown on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles leaves only 200 Nigel Farage accounts...

A crackdown today on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles by Facebook and other social media platforms has left only 200 Nigel Farage accounts open.The unprecedented move was a result of the discovery that...
Sofa

David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa

Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa at full price from DFS.Davis said, "I knew when we...

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that the best possible Brexit deal had been secured.After the key...

May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...

Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening in the middle of the main course and refuse to...
Chris Grayling

We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...

British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal, a cabinet minister has suggested.The Transport Secretary Chris Grayling made...

David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...

There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending PTA meetings and has no idea what’s been going on...

Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit

Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about how to pay for Brexit.It's believed that by putting a...

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the entire world lines up to...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change at until Brexit negotiations have concluded.The move comes following complaints...
Rees Mogg Farage

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans

A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed.The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old Benny Hill, was interviewed by the Herald’s Michelin Star correspondent...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry last night while being at a table full of other...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” now dining alone

A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with dined alone last night while being at a table full of other...

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