Monday, August 20, 2018

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make the hours pass. Working every day in a cheap cafe...

Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car

Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today. David "What Am I Doing?" Davis reassured the public that a post-Brexit Britain will...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a major Brexit speech, the human error who holds a major...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be blue again. "Now that passports are going to be blue again...
Theresa May

Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means

Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her empty promises of giving Parliament the chance to take a...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself in the key Brexit team associated with pie-in-sky claims around...

Remainers lead campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals and rerun Brexit referendum

It's been revealed that remainers are leading a campaign to remove warning labels from household chemicals. It's believed that this is part of their effort to re-run the EU referendum and win. Cliff Edge told...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done the financial analysis that is due to be handed in...
Angry Man Shouting

Rochdale entrepreneur fails to set up free trade agreement with Burnley

Rochdale entrepreneur Cliff Edge has been explaining to the Rochdale Herald how he tried to negotiate a free-trade deal with a supermarket in Burnley. The negotiations had arisen because, although Cliff lives in a pro-Brexit...

Rochdale man jumps off cliff and blames friends not believing he could fly for...

A Rochdale man who sustained life threatening injuries after he jumped off Beachy Head has blamed his injuries on his friends not believing he could fly. Friend Martin Williams told us, "We tried to tell...

Brexit bias uncovered in Westminster

After detailed research, leading academics have revealed a list of staunchly pro Brexit MPs and have demanded that the old, rich white people in question present the case for Remain to allow for balanced...

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided...

Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...

Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon change their name to De Gréoire. Long established as a culinary...

Crackdown on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles leaves only 200 Nigel Farage accounts...

A crackdown today on Russian fake pro-Brexit social media profiles by Facebook and other social media platforms has left only 200 Nigel Farage accounts open. The unprecedented move was a result of the discovery that...
Sofa

David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa

Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa at full price from DFS. Davis said, "I knew when we...

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