Come and have a go if you think your armada enough

After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier was taking, British diplomats and Jeremy Hunt have finally succeeded in finding out what EU Member States really think.

Philip II of Spain unfortunately was firm in his disapproval.  In a firm statement from his palace at El Escorial, he said:

“Rather than penitent, you are blasphemous.  The vengeance of God will be upon your head.  You think your army can compare with my armada?  With the might of my empire?  You are grievously mistaken.  You have transgressed against my kingdom and the kingdom of God. You must answer for your sins.”

“Give me Gibraltar, or I will end you faster than a Catalonian separatist.  We cannot simply accept that the Iberian peninsula will have slices cut off it like it is some kind of ham?”

Upon hearing this news ,self appointed voice of the people, Gerald Ammon, said

“Ham?  You see?  Fucking racists these Diegos.  Can’t trust them.  What are my wife Gertrude and I supposed to do now?  I mean, we were going to retire to the Costa del Arsehole and live off my GBP-denominated pension which can definitely still buy stuff.  Play some golf and eat some fry ups.  But now look at this.”

Gerald remains confident that the Spaniards will remember whose dying Empire is the best and continue to accept his limited ability to shout “Curve Acer, Mas, por favour” as a reason for him to benefit from Spanish hospital provision.  

But then he thinks E111 is something you add to Stella to keep it fizzy.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?