Monday, October 22, 2018

ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update

ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update. The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of the Microsoft Windows 10 that took 6-10 hours to perform was...
Trump Airplane

Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit

Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump. State Governor, Stiffney Audio Science Atlanta IV told us said, "We're currently...

Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears

"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he was crying kept putting them out. Bill, a man who spends an...
Theresa May

May gives Nigerian Prince sort code, account number and PIN in trade negotiations

Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she's met whilst negotiating trade. The exchange came earlier today when May met Prince Muttasim Billah Gadaffi in...
Bono

Pope meets Bono to demand he removes U2’s albums from his iTunes account

Pope Francis is to have a private audience with Bono to demand to know how to delete U2's latest album from his iTunes library. According to a Vatican official, "The Holy Father was preparing the...

Head of worlds largest global paedophile network spotted in Dublin

The leader of a global paedophile network has arrived in Ireland as he begins touring the country today. Pope Francis flew into Dublin Airport and was met by supporters who had queued for several hours to...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days after Marie Abeille was arrested by the Secret Police for...
Jeremy Hunt China

You lot all look the same to me, Jeremy Hunt tells wife and Chinese...

The UK's new foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt admitted yesterday that he can't tell his wife apart from the Chinese Foreign Minister because they both have those eyes that "look a bit funny." Mr Hunt made...
Trump Golf Twitter

FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl

The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today. One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on Twitter saying that the FBI were a bunch of syphilitic...

Trump abandons plans to build wall, resolves to plant Leylandii hedge on Mexican border

Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and Mexico. Instead, he intends to spend a couple of grand...
Trump

Trump says he misspoke when he said Stalin was an excellent strong leader

Donald Trump has said that he misspoke when he described Joseph Stalin as an excellent strong leader. Trump was replying to reporters who sought clarification after Russian sources said Trump had compared Putin favorably to...
AR-15

Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...

The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of thousands of calories a day is as American as a...

Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him

Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held a march in his honour today. Speaking to the press Trump...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government this afternoon following a successful meeting where POTATUS offered to...

UKIP leader calls for Theresa May to resign

UKIP's leader, Vladimir Putin has called on Theresa May to call a General Election to ensure a Government is elected that will push Brexit through. The President of the United States took time out from...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started to help the child hostages at the US border. The...

Follow us

54,330FansLike
67FollowersFollow
18,423FollowersFollow
21,035FollowersFollow

Popular Posts