Monday, August 20, 2018

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government this afternoon following a successful meeting where POTATUS offered to...

UKIP leader calls for Theresa May to resign

UKIP's leader, Vladimir Putin has called on Theresa May to call a General Election to ensure a Government is elected that will push Brexit through. The President of the United States took time out from...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started to help the child hostages at the US border. The...
Cave Diver

Rescue divers call off search for viable Customs Union Plan

Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search. Having plumbed the depths of some of the deepest caves in Europe and...
Putin Appraisal

President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump

Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month. One told us, "The President is looking forward to the meeting next month." It's understood that President Putin intends...
Donald Trump

White House admits Trump thought Korean War was fought in Star Trek

The White House has apparently confirmed that POTATUS, Donald Trump, thought the Korean War was a war fought in the 1970's in Star Trek. The admission comes several weeks after Mr Trump seemed to suggest...
Putin Appraisal

Trump to meet Putin in Helsinki for annual appraisal

The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 16th of June. The White House issued a statement that said, "After much haggling...
Erdogan

Rank outsider sweeps to completely surprising victory in Turkish Presidential election

A rank-outsider has swept to victory in Turkey's presidential election defying the odds to secure a third five year term. Election authority chief said "imagine our surprise when we counted the votes and found that...

Melania Trump faces criticism for wearing “Exterminate” t-shirt to Holocaust Memorial

Melania Trump is faces yet more criticism today after wearing a Dalek’s t-shirt during a visit to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin.

Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning

A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman for adultery for the first time next week. Fatima Hummus told...

Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts

Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald. Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been saying that Donald Trump is like Hitler. His attempts to...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Speaking at a press conference late last...

Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants

US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of children forcefully separated from their parents at the US-Mexico border. According to White...

North Korean media reports North Korea has won the World Cup

North Korea has won the World Cup despite not qualifying for the tournament. At least that's what the north Korean media has said today. North Korean journalist, Ban-Kim Han-Kim said, "We bring you news of...
Trump Golf Twitter

Crack pot dictator arrives in Singapore to meet Kim Jong Un

Singapore: Crack-pot dictator and wannabe dictator Donald Trump has arrived in Singapore to meet crack-pot dictator Kim Jong Un. It's hoped that the pair may bond over their joint hatred of Canadian PM, Justin Trudeau....
Statue of Liberty

Statue of Liberty planning move back to France

Following a public falling out today between the President of France and the Dictator of the United States of America the Statue of Liberty has announced that she will be shortly emigrating back to...

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