A country full of religious crackpots shouldn’t have nuclear weapons, says country full of...

A country full of religious crackpots and nuclear weapons has condemned another country full of religious crackpots for pressing on with their nuclear programme.Hassan Rouhani, the President of Iran, has spoken to The Rochdale...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election.Mr Weinstein gained support from a majority of delegates, despite being a Democrat, a former close...

Putin starts worrying that he might be a dick

Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly started worrying that he might actually be a bit of a dick.Sources close to Putin have revealed that the Russian leader has recently started asking whether there might...
Donald Trump female

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans.The Mayor said, "I was going through a few things in my head whilst...
Stag Do

ISIS leader admits 2014 invasion was just a stag do that ‘got a bit...

WITHIN THE LAST HOUR the leader of the so-called Islamic State group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, has issued a statement admitting that the whole thing was just a stag party dare "that got a bit out...

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the Islas Malvinas, if that will help Theresa May stay prime...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have been planning something.“That’s not even one a week!” Special Agent...
Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum.Enric Millo, playing the drunken wife-beater to Catalonia’s spouse-in-the-corner, blamed the Catalan Government for...
Donald Trump

Trump in hiding as NRA call for curb ‘on rapid fire tools’

DONALD TRUMP is believed to be in hiding tonight after the National Rifle Association called for a clamp-down on “rapid fire tools”.This has been widely taken as a reference to the constant stream of...

ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine

As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media and some government officials, it's unclear if some of them...
Trump Bed

Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him

The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking onto a yacht.His hat strategically dipped below one eye and...
Guns for sale

Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says only country with a with mass shootings...

A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it has “no idea’ how to solve the problem.“We just have...

If everyone had nukes we’d all be safe, says Kim Jong-un

Following the awful Las Vegas massacre, the Great Leader of North Korea has barrelled into the ensuing gun control debate. His message came through his mouthpiece state TV channel via the sycophantic, shouty news...
Guns

Why does this keep happening, asks country selling guns without doing background checks

A country who sells weapons over the counter to anybody who wants one is stumped at how it can be home to so many fatal shootings.This country has the highest number of gun fatalities...
Trump

President Trump In Deep Water Over Puerto Rico

President Donald Trump has found himself in the middle of a storm of controversy recently following his comments about Puerto Rico.At a press conference attended by The Rochdale Herald, President Trump repeatedly slated...

Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...

More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.It has become the worst such attack in recent history with the death toll...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts