US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob

Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over working conditions.It is understood that several employees quit this morning...
Sarah Huckabee

Trump to sue publisher of Fire and Fury when Sarah Huckabee finishes reading it...

Washington DC - Donald Trump has angrily announced that he intends to sue the publisher of The White House tell all book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, just as soon Sarah...

Trump and Steve Bannon to wrestle naked for alt-right leadership

It has emerged that President Donald Trump and Breitbart Chief Steve Bannon have apparently arranged to wrestle naked on the White House South Lawn for the leadership of the alt-right movement.According to a...
Trump Toilet Seat

President Trump ‘leaves toilet seat up’ claims explosive new book

Washington has been shocked by a controversial new book which claims that, on occasion, President Trump forgets to put the toilet seat down.The provocative claim, drawn from Michael Wolff's new work Fire and...
Trump Idiotic

Book criticising Trump to be boycotted by people who have never bought a book.

There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President Trump.It is estimated that millions of Republicans, representing approximately 0.01%...
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard.The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the crazy bastard after he was quoted in a new book...

Jeremy Corbyn reveals plan to become Iranian Ayatollah

In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran.A spokesman said, "Iran is a country with a young population. Since...
Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's.It is being reported around the world in the mainstream media that top White House aide Ivanka...

Barack Obama wakes up in White House shower, Trump administration just a bad dream

As we wake up and greet the new year, President Barack Obama has a weird and wonderful story to tell.We managed to catch up with him as he gave a speech outside the White...
Trump

Donald Trump is a hoax, says Global Warming

Global Warming, the phenomenon by which mankind is fucking up the environment, has confirmed on Twitter today that Donald Trump is in fact a Hoax."Sorry about that." The effect of a combination of deforestation...
Prisoner

Rochdale man released from US prison after Trump repeals ‘Merry Christmas’ ban

A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for.Percy Cuted was jailed in 2011 after wishing some Americans "Merry...
Punggye-ri

North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show

CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities.Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think that the Punggye-ri Nuclear Facility is being used to manufacture...
UFO

Aliens land on earth, demand under no circumstances to be taken to our leaders

It has been confirmed that aliens have landed on earth over the festive period. Their large red craft, powered by nine outlying vaguely reindeer-shaped thrust modules landed outside Slaithwaite on Christmas Day.The leader of...

Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower

Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.
Scunthorpe

Palestinians Recognise Scunthorpe as Capital of US, Answering Question ‘Who put the ‘Trump’ in...

Following the United States decision to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, the Palestinian authorities have entered into the spirit of things and decided to arbitrarily shift the capital of The United States...

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