Garda

Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse

Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had vanished up his own arse.A number of people were treated...

Aung San Suu Kyi surrenders Freedom of Dublin refusing to share the honour with...

Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi has given up her Freedom of the city of Dublin in protest at sharing the distinction with Bono, it has emerged.She was awarded the status on an honorary...
Bob Geldof

Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...

London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin.Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays very little tax whilst complaining about how countries treat their...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one year appraisal meeting.The pair met during a meeting of Asian...
Trump

Waxwork of Donald Trump removed from Museum in Bumshart Nebrahoma

A full size model of Donald Trump used for "selfies" by visitors to a museum has been removed by popular demand.Pictures shared all over social media show people posing with the statue of the...
Donald Trump

White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump

The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the news of the doubling of the character limit from President...

All guns to be armed with guns

In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a warning that the only way to prevent further tragedy is...
Gun old lady

Why does this keep happening, ask imbeciles who keep selling guns to people who...

Fuckwits in America who keep blocking gun control reform have been forced to once again ask the question “why do mass shootings happen over and over again?”At least twenty seven people have been shot...

Trump rage over #takeafinger protests

Donald Trump has demanded "they fire these sons of bitches" over the growing #takeafinger protests.A woman pictured raising her middle finger toward Trump's motorcade has reportedly been fired from her job over the photograph.The...

Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist.Initially, US citizens were horrified to hear that the worst ever mass shooting in Texas...

First shipment of thoughts and prayers arrive in Texas

It’s all better in Texas now after a much needed vital shipment of thoughts and prayers arrived in Sutherland following last night’s mass shooting.Our special correspondent in Nevada writes:“Yeah, we’re crating up the thoughts...
Trump Golf Twitter

Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead

Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas.The gesture came as another mass shooting in America, took the number...
White House

It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...

In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a church at Sutherland Springs in Texas that has claimed the lives of at least 27 people The White House has released a statement saying...

Turning Trump off and on again doesn’t seem to have done any good

The White House Head of IT has expressed his heightened concern that the Presidency could be heading for a critical outage.Head of IT Maurice Moss explained his concern today that White House bandwidth has...

Having dodgy dealings with corrupt foreign dictators is only bad when Hillary does it,...

Having Dodgy dealings with corrupt foreign dictators is only a bad thing when it is done by the likes of Hillary Clinton, Fox News announced today.In their official statement, Fox News stated categorically that...
Trump Child

Department of Justice confirms that if indicted Trump will be tried as an adult

The Department of Justice has confirmed that if and when Donald Trump is indicted for colluding with Russia during the 2016 Presidential election he will have to stand trial as an adult.The U.S. Department...

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