A woman that claims she’s about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced to give birth on a stable floor.

Mary told us, “I tried to get into the hospital but they immediately wanted proof I was insured. Turns out Joseph’s carpenters union insurance plan doest cover it. Unless I can prove it’s a splinter that needs removing. I told them that I’m giving birth to the son of God but that didn’t help as God’s insurance was maxed out getting a man removed from a whale. So, a stable it is.”

But Mary’s insurer has told the Herald that this is fake news. They said, “We have a close friend that’s an inn owner in Bethlehem. He says that this has been posed for political purposes. Mary stuffed some cushions up her dress and refused a perfectly good bed at a Premier Inn.”

However, Mary’s mother Anne said, “I’m really worried that something will go wrong. It’s not exactly hygienic and all they’ll have to wipe things down with is Myrrh and Frankincense. I’m trying to get in touch with God to get him to take some responsibility. But he’s not answering.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.