There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby.

The Prince was there representing the Queen. Many of the casts parents were in the audience. One proud mother told us, “We’d been practising the lines for weeks. Our son was playing the part of dinosaur keeper. About 10 minutes in Mary was told she would have a baby. Joseph took it well but there was an audible gasp from Prince Andrew’s PR manager.”

Another parent said, “Our son was playing the star. He had a costume on that was probably a bit too big for him. To be honest, he looked more Grand Wizard than celestial body. I looked over and Prince Andrew’s people were visibly aghast.”

Another parent said, “I didn’t really notice them to be honest. I was more bothered because the 3 kings said, ‘look, there’s a star’, and all the all pointed in different directions. All that coaching at theatre school and they did that. Criminal.”

A spokesman for Prince Andrew told us, “The Prince hadn’t met that girl before tonight. He has no memory of her and will now be off to Woking Pizza Express.”

It’s not clear what the Queen thinks of this.

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.