A Starbucks in Manchester was evacuated today after a man called Alan Akbar ordered a Caramel Frappuccino.
Alan told us, “I was out shopping and fancied a quick coffee. I’ve been in Starbucks a couple of times now so went in and ordered. Usually the server just asks for your first name but apparently there had been a lot of people called Alan in that day so he asked me if I could tell him my last name. Anyway, I told him and went and paid and sat down. After a few minutes the server started shouting “Alan Akbar! Alan Akbar!”. Then all hell broke loose as people started running away and dialing the police.”
Fellow customer, Orla Board told us, “I’d had a really nice day. I’d just dropped my cat off at the vets to be neutered and was grabbing a quick coffee. At first it was alright but when the server started shouting it was really scary. The server was stood there waving a spoon around shouting Allah Akbar. Like those suicide Islamic State guys do. I was terrified and ran out and dialed the police.”
Orla’s husband, Bill told us, “This really was awful. He should be ashamed of himself going around scaring people like that. The Government should consider banning the name Alan. In fact, they should consider a euthanasia program for Alan’s. I never liked Alan Carr anyway.”
Greater Manchester Police were contacted for a statement but refuse to discuss individual cases. It’s understood the server is now undergoing re-training.