Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’

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Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn branded anti-Semitic after celebrating crucifixion of Jewish man

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Jeremy Corbyn has been forced to deny further allegations of anti-Semitism after being spotted celebrating the crucifixion of a Jewish man. The Jewish man in question died 2000 years ago after a short trial following...

PETA free thousands of battery farmed Jesuses forced into tiny cages for their chocolate...

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Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from cages in barns. The Jesuses who are farmed for the chocolate...

Colonists on LV-426 excited after discovery of Easter eggs

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Colonists on the Terraforming, research and mining colony Hadley's Hope have discovered what appears to be a large amount of Easter eggs in a strange abandoned space ship. Prospectors Russ and Anne Jordan made the...

Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses

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There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses. Jesus said "They were the dumbest thing I ever invented. Basically,...

Religion stupid confirms Jesus

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"Religion is very stupid and the way you practice it is frankly divisive," said Jesus. His good friend, Mohammad, agreed wholeheartedly, adding "seriously, some of you are utter, utter, bellends, the way you misuse your...
Shouting Man

Shouty, hypocritical know it all becomes leader of First Atheist church

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A loud mouth atheist has taken his levels of preaching about all organized religion being evil to such lengths that he has organized a church to nourish his colossal ego and spread the word...

Relief for western buddhists as 5th noble truth says “Get on it!”

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The world of Buddhism was flipped upside down today as a new addition to the original 4 noble truths was discovered in a monastery in Tibet. The 5000 year old scripture stated a previously unseen...

Jesus to have birthday party in August

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Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.

If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...

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Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare a thought for the big man. How tedious must it be...

Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents

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Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.

Satirist attempts to write Muhammad joke in bid to appease angry ‘Christians’

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A writer for the internet's biggest Rochdale-based satire site, The Rochdale Herald, has spent the past 15 minutes trying to conjure up some sort of Muhammad joke in a bid to appease a bunch...

Mary and Joseph to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show following immaculate conception doubts

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The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over the Messiah's paternity. Titled 'Immaculate Conception or Spectacular Deception?', it is...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not to be named, said "When we first announced the parts...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

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People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image of a newspaper article claiming that councils have banned Christmas...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

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A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a parents revolt after the largely transgender pupils were taught that...

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