ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod
The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.
Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...
A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...
Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
Satirist attempts to write Muhammad joke in bid to appease angry ‘Christians’
A writer for the internet's biggest Rochdale-based satire site, The Rochdale Herald, has spent the past 15 minutes trying to conjure up some sort...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation
The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation.
Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing...
Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...
There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will have a baby.
The Prince...
Ainsley Harriott kicked out of satanic death cult for using too much turmeric
Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group.
"Look it's simple...
Pope declares all good atheists can go to heaven
In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and...
Mary and Joseph to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show following immaculate conception doubts
The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over...
Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the...
That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids
A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils.
St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a...
Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast
Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of...
Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false.
An image...
