Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a...
Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...
There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will have a baby.
The Prince...
Mary and Joseph to appear on the Jeremy Kyle Show following immaculate conception doubts
The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over...
Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the...
Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide
After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation
The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation.
Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing...
Jesus rejects will of the people
Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die
On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented by Pontius Pilate asked the people...
Ainsley Harriott kicked out of satanic death cult for using too much turmeric
Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group.
"Look it's simple...
Pope declares all good atheists can go to heaven
In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and...
Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Belinda Carlisle vindicated as Heaven proved to be a place on Earth.
The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses
There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses.
Jesus...
PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter
In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
