Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...

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A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced to give birth on a stable floor. Mary told...
Brian

Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’

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In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the Messiah, but instead is 'a very naughty boy.' The announcement came...

Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...

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There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby. The Prince was there representing the Queen. Many of the...

Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents

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Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Laughing Jesus

Jesus admits, hollow easter eggs represent my empty promises

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Jesus has clarified that hollow chocolate eggs symbolise the hollowness and empty promises at the heart of all religions. Jesus, or "The Light", as he prefers to be known said, "It's nothing to do with...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn branded anti-Semitic after celebrating crucifixion of Jewish man

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Jeremy Corbyn has been forced to deny further allegations of anti-Semitism after being spotted celebrating the crucifixion of a Jewish man. The Jewish man in question died 2000 years ago after a short trial following...
The Pope

If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope

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Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.

If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...

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Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare a thought for the big man. How tedious must it be...
Amazon Tribe

Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe

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An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary. "Our culture reveres the position of shaman - a wise man...
Angry Man Christmas

Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas

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A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas. Bill Board, who has been to church twice in 30...

Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting

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A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy. The teacher, who asked not to be named, said "When we first announced the parts...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

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Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called President's main rally on his upcoming visit to the UK...
Jesus Good Friday

Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus

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Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a pretty crap Friday. "I don't know why people keep calling it...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

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A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim, Rev. Roger Simpkins, was greeting a member of his congregation...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

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People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image of a newspaper article claiming that councils have banned Christmas...

Belinda Carlisle vindicated as Heaven proved to be a place on Earth.

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The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found to be inhabited exclusively by the souls of the virtuous....

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