Laughing Jesus

Jesus admits, hollow easter eggs represent my empty promises

Jesus has clarified that hollow chocolate eggs symbolise the hollowness and empty promises at the heart of all religions. Jesus, or "The Light", as he prefers to be known said, "It's nothing to do with...

Priests to Discover What Celibacy Really Means – Say Experts

Following the historic announcement by Pope Francis that Priests are to be allowed to marry, experts are saying that Catholic Priests are, for the first time, to discover what Celibacy actually is. And according...

God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite

Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act. It comes after the Garda completed their investigation into alleged blasphemy during a 2015...
Shouting Man

Shouty, hypocritical know it all becomes leader of First Atheist church

A loud mouth atheist has taken his levels of preaching about all organized religion being evil to such lengths that he has organized a church to nourish his colossal ego and spread the word...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image of a newspaper article claiming that councils have banned Christmas...

Dalai Lama fury over Louis Smith Buddha is a fat bastard comments

The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a "fat fucker". Two time Olympic Pommel Horse runner up, Strictly Come Dancing winner and sore loser...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of the crucifixion. This will not be a new policy, it says,...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a parents revolt after the largely transgender pupils were taught that...

Paul Nuttall Converted To Judaism

Reports are circulating that investigators digging into the unbelievable past of the UKIP Leader have unearthed a 2004 MySpace page entry in which Paul Nuttall announced his conversion to Judaism. It's not certain whether Paul was responsible...

Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents

Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.

I’m nothing like Pope antichrist tells DUP

In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald, the antichrist tells the DUP "I'm nothing like the Pope!" On a damp and surprisingly chilly June morning I travelled to my meeting with a certain sense...

Sex scandal latest – vicar says he was touched by God

In a startling new development in the ongoing revelations of sexual impropriety, Father Peter O'Fiall of St. Thomas the Dubious Roman Catholic Church in Rochdale, claims that he 'was touched by God' many years...

Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus

Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born of a well-known virgin, pint-sized Josh was almost certainly the...

Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation

The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation. Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing paedophilia for centuries before their religion was even invented. Did...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim, Rev. Roger Simpkins, was greeting a member of his congregation...

Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus

In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H...

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