Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat."
Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi...
Not enough young gay men commit suicide say arseholes in Anglican Synod
The utterly irrelevant small minded patronising pricks, bitches and utter arseholes in the Anglican Synod have said that not enough vulnerable young men kill themselves every year.
Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday
A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’.
The victim,...
Belinda Carlisle vindicated as Heaven proved to be a place on Earth.
The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found...
Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs
Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets.
The move comes after...
Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a...
Ainsley Harriott kicked out of satanic death cult for using too much turmeric
Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group.
"Look it's simple...
PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter
In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...
Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation
The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation.
Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing...
Dalai Lama fury over Louis Smith Buddha is a fat bastard comments
The Dalai Lama is said to be incandescently furious with Louis Smith after he was overheard calling Buddha a "fat fucker".
Two time Olympic Pommel...
Christmas ad not Christian enough say non church going Christians
The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a...
Rochdale man disappointed he hasn’t been arrested for wishing people Merry Christmas
A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas.
Bill Board,...
Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary.
"Our...
If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...
Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare...
