God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite

0
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act. It comes after the Garda completed their investigation into alleged blasphemy during a 2015...

Relief for western buddhists as 5th noble truth says “Get on it!”

0
The world of Buddhism was flipped upside down today as a new addition to the original 4 noble truths was discovered in a monastery in Tibet. The 5000 year old scripture stated a previously unseen...

I’m nothing like Pope antichrist tells DUP

6
In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald, the antichrist tells the DUP "I'm nothing like the Pope!" On a damp and surprisingly chilly June morning I travelled to my meeting with a certain sense...

Belinda Carlisle vindicated as Heaven proved to be a place on Earth.

4
The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found to be inhabited exclusively by the souls of the virtuous....
Ainsley Harriott

Ainsley Harriott kicked out of satanic death cult for using too much turmeric

0
Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group. "Look it's simple innit, evwywon nose dat U use Susie Salt to draw...
Glastonbury

Glastonbury food vendors uproar after Jeremy Corbyn feeds festival with five loaves and two...

377
Food vendors at the Glastonbury festival have been in uproar today after Jeremy Corbyn fed the entire site using just five loaves of bread and two fish. Percy Cheesewright told us,"I saw him coming out...

If one more person says Merry Birthday to me I’m going to lose my...

0
Everyone knows someone with a birthday around Christmas day. Those whose birthday falls on the big day itself are the worst off but spare a thought for the big man. How tedious must it be...

Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast

1
Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of Charles Darwin on a piece of toast yesterday morning. Dawkins...

Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia

18
Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia. Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their time has come. The many shall inherit the Kingdom United,...

Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus

39
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H...

Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury

0
In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) has resigned from the post of Archbishop of...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

0
In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of the crucifixion. This will not be a new policy, it says,...

Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’

0
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.

Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus

0
Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born of a well-known virgin, pint-sized Josh was almost certainly the...
Jesus Good Friday

Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus

0
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a pretty crap Friday. "I don't know why people keep calling it...

Jesus admits to slamming doors of heaven on Jehovah’s Witnesses

0
There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses. Jesus said "They were the dumbest thing I ever invented. Basically,...

Follow us

61,683FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
23,656FollowersFollow

Popular Posts