Catholic Church accuses Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation

0
The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation. Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing paedophilia for centuries before their religion was even invented. Did...

Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’

0
Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Jesus Christ

Jesus rejects will of the people

0
Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented by Pontius Pilate asked the people whether Jesus of Nazareth should be released or die.  Asked...
God

Man looking for God admits he would be easier to find if he knew...

0
A Rochdale man has today admitted that it would have been much easier to find God had he known what God looks like. Garry Bennett began his search 10 years ago after meeting a successful entrepreneur at...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

0
In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of the crucifixion. This will not be a new policy, it says,...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

0
Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after revelations that the CIA and GCHQ have hacked into the...

Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false

0
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false. An image of a newspaper article claiming that councils have banned Christmas...
Laughing Jesus

Jesus admits, hollow easter eggs represent my empty promises

0
Jesus has clarified that hollow chocolate eggs symbolise the hollowness and empty promises at the heart of all religions. Jesus, or "The Light", as he prefers to be known said, "It's nothing to do with...

Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban

0
Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit. This follows the New Year outrage in Turkey when in the early hours of New Year's...

Belinda Carlisle vindicated as Heaven proved to be a place on Earth.

4
The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found to be inhabited exclusively by the souls of the virtuous....
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

0
The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...

Jesus demands separate birthday and Christmas presents

0
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Glastonbury

Glastonbury food vendors uproar after Jeremy Corbyn feeds festival with five loaves and two...

377
Food vendors at the Glastonbury festival have been in uproar today after Jeremy Corbyn fed the entire site using just five loaves of bread and two fish. Percy Cheesewright told us,"I saw him coming out...

I’m nothing like Pope antichrist tells DUP

6
In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald, the antichrist tells the DUP "I'm nothing like the Pope!" On a damp and surprisingly chilly June morning I travelled to my meeting with a certain sense...

Jesus to have birthday party in August

0
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
Jesus Good Friday

Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus

0
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a pretty crap Friday. "I don't know why people keep calling it...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts